Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I farted while asking a girl out to dinner. FML
Today, the guy of my dreams told me he liked me and leaned in to kiss me. Just as our lips touched, I ripped a big ass fart. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. While getting down on one knee, he farted. FML
Today, I was talking to this guy that I like a lot and I think he likes me back. When he told me I was beautiful I laughed so hard that I farted. Loudly. FML
Today, I saw my crush at the grocery store. He saw me and started walking towards me. I got so excited that I farted when he came near. FML
Today, I've been into this guy at work forever, and we've been flirting more and more lately. Today he came up behind me, but I didn't see him. He said "Hi!" and scared me so bad that I farted. FML
Today, my crush grabbed my butt while I was walking up the stairs. In surprise I farted. He won't even look me in the eyes now. FML
Today, I burped in front of my crush. Well, not really in front of him. I turned around mid-burp and noticed him, not knowing anyone was there. The surprise made me scream a little, which only amplified the burp. So I made this mighty belch-turned-scream noise, while maintaining eye contact with him. FML
Today, while wearing a sexy pair of undies for my partner and taking him out on a nice dinner, I trusted a fart walking from the car to the restaurant and shit myself. FML
Today, I was out on my first date in months. My stomach didn’t feel quite right after dinner, but I tried to ignore it. During the movie, it got so bad I decided to try to sneak a small fart for relief. As soon as I did, the theater fell dead silent. My fart practically echoed in the silence. FML
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Top comments
Chucks719 4
But did you say yes?
Lavelle1313 11
That blows
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Comments (86)
Skoozysoop 6
It is always good to get the fart barrier over with. I always fart first.
hmrhoades 18
Well that stinks! :( Sorry, OP!
jh921971 10
Sounds like a match made in heaven!
Huddisher 10
HA.
dvnmrgnob 6
Throw that "movement" in a circle
daveburgif 8
I guess you blew him away ?
spacey_blueberry 18
Hey OP it's not nice to just blow him off like that! :P
WeskerxChris 12
Rather it be loud than silent but violent
muah97 12
Fire in the hole I'll say
JohnnyPoo 3
I would have taken that as a yes