Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I farted while asking a girl out to dinner. FML
Today, the guy of my dreams told me he liked me and leaned in to kiss me. Just as our lips touched, I ripped a big ass fart. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. While getting down on one knee, he farted. FML
Today, I was talking to this guy that I like a lot and I think he likes me back. When he told me I was beautiful I laughed so hard that I farted. Loudly. FML
Today, I saw my crush at the grocery store. He saw me and started walking towards me. I got so excited that I farted when he came near. FML
Today, I've been into this guy at work forever, and we've been flirting more and more lately. Today he came up behind me, but I didn't see him. He said "Hi!" and scared me so bad that I farted. FML
Today, my crush grabbed my butt while I was walking up the stairs. In surprise I farted. He won't even look me in the eyes now. FML
Today, I burped in front of my crush. Well, not really in front of him. I turned around mid-burp and noticed him, not knowing anyone was there. The surprise made me scream a little, which only amplified the burp. So I made this mighty belch-turned-scream noise, while maintaining eye contact with him. FML
Today, while wearing a sexy pair of undies for my partner and taking him out on a nice dinner, I trusted a fart walking from the car to the restaurant and shit myself. FML
Today, I was out on my first date in months. My stomach didn’t feel quite right after dinner, but I tried to ignore it. During the movie, it got so bad I decided to try to sneak a small fart for relief. As soon as I did, the theater fell dead silent. My fart practically echoed in the silence. FML
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Top comments
Chucks719 4
But did you say yes?
Lavelle1313 11
That blows
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Comments (86)
cookie_93 7
And that's when you give him a weird look and blame him.
Brandi_Faith 34
Definitely this! ^
klisterable 18
I'm kind of waiting for an FML about a guy who asks a girl out, but all she does is fart...
kenyrabit 25
"...She looked embarrassed, so I farted a happy response. Then, she just looked at me in disgust and walked away. FML"
worldclassrager 41
That doesn't really change much I don't think it would it happens as long as he doesn't say never mind you're clear
LarissaT18 18
Maybe it was a sign...
Sathane 21
Barking butterflies.
keiNan_fml 35
walterfart
Skull7838 5
lol
captainsmegma 12
Your a classy gal. Good luck on your date.
Zebediabolical 45
This makes very little sense to me. OP is worried about farting after apparently ******** her pants. I thought I might be wrong as to the definition of 'bowel movement' and that it might just be a local colloquial saying for pooping, but the online dictionaries all agree with me and don't mention anything about farting or rumbling. Just pooping and the results from it. Just sayin'.
BananaaBread 13
Could have pooped her pants, and then farted, or even both at the same time.:b Either way, it still sucks lol
Brandi_Faith 34
I imagine she just meant bowel issues or bowel trouble. I highly doubt she crapped her pants but was only worried about the fart. Unless of course the crapping her pants in front of people is a regular occurrence but the farting is not. We'd probably have a very different fml on our hands if she had an actual bowel movement. Lol
tashinaherne 11
I'm pretty sure she meant movement in bowels.. :)
amisenho 11
In that case, she probably would've said "sharted" instead of "farted".
mysteryguy3039 33
I would love to hear the follow-up for this FML