Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said, "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She was on top, and then stopped, got off, and said, "Let's go get ice cream." I think this was her way of telling me I suck at sex. FML
Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML
Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home, he was masturbating. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML
Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home he was masturbating. FML
Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML
Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML
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Top comments
Pinkfl0yd 9
Doesn't matter; had snacks!
ThatGuyRory 9
Ice Cream makes everything better.
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Comments (242)
iamhannibalking 0
I want ice cream now :(
kyleighkinss143 0
- The First Time I Had Sex My BoyFriends Wouldn't Get hard Either It's Just Part Of Being nervous
JOcoco 14
Nerves can **** stuff up like that...wait...boyfriends? o.o
RedPillSucks 33
That way you can be sure there's at least one hard one in the bunch. Sounds like she hit the lemon farm and needs to make lemonade. Nothing like a group ******* session like those **** scenes.
momo1972 3
What flavor ice cream?
kraz8 1
And you just laid there as he tried? Dicks get hard because of sexual EXCITEMENT, a dead fish isn't exciting. You probably had him get his own bowl of ice cream, too...
TeddyB88 4
Lol I take it your boyfriend is a virgin
lilpudinpie 1
I like apples
claudio117 12
It's not that's hard
Josie_Kat 0
Ice Cream is safer!
TomatoFairyHime 2
Viagra?
rdrr 2
He is just not that into you. Literally and figuratively.