Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said, "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She was on top, and then stopped, got off, and said, "Let's go get ice cream." I think this was her way of telling me I suck at sex. FML
Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML
Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home, he was masturbating. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML
Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home he was masturbating. FML
Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML
Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML
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Top comments
Pinkfl0yd 9
Doesn't matter; had snacks!
ThatGuyRory 9
Ice Cream makes everything better.
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Comments (242)
hewro_failure 11
I'm sure after a while he got nervous which would make him lose the erection but he might also be gay or just not in to you ... In which case that sucks but for the time being ice cream helps
Ambi_Sinistrous 5
Awww, this is actually really cute if you guys are just young... <3
etester 5
That doesn't sound so bad to me. But then again, I really like ice cream.
retrorewind 13
he take any medications? meds can do that to ya
brussell89 4
I had this happen to me once...turns out I am gay lol.
MilesEm 5
Might be better than the sex would have been!
CastielJ 6
Limp Dick much?
N_Rattlehead 0
This happened to me the first time I tried to do it with my girlfriend. I was so nervous. Just give him time to get comfortable, and talk about it. Talk about what needs to happen for him to be comfortable. Speaking from personal experience, it must really blow (haha) knowing that you failed at your first time. The ice cream was probably a really good idea because of that. Keep trying, let him get comfortable, and you guys will be having fun in no time!
jynx2501 3
That's actually more common then you may think for first timers.
Nemle22 4
It was probably just the jitters. Try again later.