Today, is the third day since I opened my small coffee shop. My parents had given me a nice frame to put my first dollar from working in. I had to sneak in a dollar from my own wallet so they wouldn't know how bad business was when they came to visit. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's the fourth day since my partner and I opened our store. Opening day was great, but since then we have had a grand total of two customers. We spent our entire life savings on this. FML
Today, I opened my new clothing store. My only customer was my mom and the only reason she came in was to tell me that someone stole my sign. FML
Today, was my first day at my new job in a shop. 10 minutes after my first customer leaves I realize she managed to steal $200 worth of merchandise while she had me getting stuff for her from the back room. FML
Today, I opened my own flower shop. My mom's response was, "Get a job." FML
Today, I'm so poor that I've been scrounging around my house all day trying to find quarters and dimes so that I can buy myself a cup of coffee tomorrow. FML
Today, I got fired from my new job. It was the start of my third week, and I got fired for not opening the store. The manager forgot to give me keys to open the store, and was two hours late. FML
Today, a woman came through my drive-thru and ordered a latte, but the bank had closed off her cards and she was short 30 cents in cash. I felt bad, so I paid for her. When I went home, I told my dad what I did, thinking he'd be proud of how he raised me but no, he said I'd wasted my money, and made me feel bad about it. FML
Today, it was my second day working as a cashier in a drug store. I thought everything went great, but by the end of my shift, my cash register was $10 short. Maybe it wouldn't be that bad if on my first day it hadn't been $30 short. FML
Today, it was my first day at work as a waitress. The day ended with me owing my employers money, after I accidentally smashed an expensive bottle of wine on the floor. FML
Today, I was in the mood for some coffee, which is right down the street. I brought ten dollars with me, not knowing how much I'd need. When I approached the counter, the barista looked at my hand holding the ten-dollar bill and said, "Oh, our cheap things are on the left side of the menu." FML
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Top comments
XtraEzeee 8
Maybe you need to rethink your business plan.
moonpiglet 4
Things will pick up. Just need a few people to spread the word
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Comments (109)
XtraEzeee 8
Maybe you need to rethink your business plan.
silbot 11
Get some ads out, make a Facebook group, posters/flyers, don't give up just yet
thesubconscious 9
It also has to have wifi in it!
awagh666 14
Stick with it dude. They say that when you start a business, you slog for 365 days with very little business and on 366th day, you'll be on a roll. All the best OP.
Abdul888 16
These are the very first days of your business OP. I hope you'll have a great success soon.
Shadowvoid 33
Ahh, the american dream at it's finest.
The_CL0GGER 0
Now everyone on FML knows about it, free advertising.
syley 5
71) the only location we have is that it's in the US that's like saying "my shoe store is in russia" America is a big country.
tjv3 10
Yeah get some ads , and do a website. Where is it at I love coffee
gntfmlingnow 12
Unfortunately, the first day is the most important of them all. You've missed any opportunity for pre-planning... My suggestion would be to try and advertise anywhere any everywhere possible.
moonpiglet 4
Things will pick up. Just need a few people to spread the word
Screwie 25
I'll start. GET YOUR MOTHERF- COFFEE NOW! Censored because I honestly don't remember if writing the whole thing is allowed or not. Any enlightening from a mod, anyone?
uberdubers 3
31 - If people can write about their dicks, and other things of that sort on this website I don't see what a little swear word can harm. **** **** **** ****
XtraEzeee 8
**** yea it's allowed!
Sirin_fml 47
@31: Shit sis, ain't no thing. We're pretty ******' laid-back here, so spit that shit like there's no tomorrow. Fo' sho'.
ant1ion 12
^ win
nado13579 12
I wish I could give Sirin a thumbs up.
mattykent3 4
****
SkoomaKi 28
Advertisements! You need to get noticed.
SkoomaKi 28
Advertisements could include: posters, fliers, a crazy old man spreading the word, aerial flags, smoke writing above your shop (made by plane), shouting really loudly through a microphone, spamming on the Internet (YouTube, twitter, Facebook, tumblr, etc), TV, a car wash with sexy woman, telling friends and family, get a vehicle with your shop's name on it and drive around in it and make a Popsicle franchise to widen your business. Hope this helped.
jaredofmo 22
Get yourself a cool viral video going. Worked for Dollar Shave Club and Chuck Testa. Just, you know, don't copy... "Is our coffee any good? No... Our coffee is ******* great!" "You probably thought this coffee was from Starbucks. It's not. It's from (enter name of shop here)." Yeah, don't do that.
22cute 17
Yes! Try Groupons or Living Social they usually bring in all the business people can handle. Also make sure you have regular hours, a very visible sign, and a gimmick like free small coffee with pastry purchase.
hutch66 13
You will get business eventually. It's only the third day. Good luck op.
MCRaddict15 15
Advertise and tell your friends to come over! Business has its ups and downs (:
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
Woah! Deja vu! Oh no wait, you just said what Skoomaki said, never mind.
trollcrusher 17
Well, yeah... 2 seconds after he said it. I'm sure she said: "Hey, I'm gonna copy Skoomaki and write what he did", then proceeded to write and post her comment. In 2 seconds.
desidude 0
Hard work always pays off mate! Relax give ur 100% success will come to your door! Cheers.
Il_Maestro 6
Not true. I was chasing this girl FOREVER and it didn't work out. I don't know whether she ran track or what, but she didn't get tired for a while even though she was screaming at the top of her lungs and spraying ample pepper spray out behind her. Point is she got away. All that hard work for nothing. Guess we all have that one who got away...
nchov523 11
I love you
XtraEzeee 8
You know, I was reading your comment and read "apple pepper spray," and thought, why, that sounds delightful! Then I read it over and felt disappointed.
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
Apple and pepper mixed together? No thank you
onlychildFTW 34
Awweee I'm really sorry to hear that. I'm sure you just need to get the word out about your business. I hope it works out for you OP.
vocaloidtiger 12
Really? That's surprising. I thought the world practically ran on coffee these days.
igive 29
Yes, but it's also about convenience. "How fast can I get my coffee?"
reddudeover 2
17 - Exactly, that's why I have the good stuff delivered intravenously. My heart just feels like its going to explode hasn't yet.
yahoowizard 16
It's been three days. Companies don't profit until a few months in
emilyjgraham 34
38, she hasn't taken a single dollar! never mind about profit she hasn't even got the money to break even yet!
emilyjgraham 34
he* I apologise for the mistakes :)
xStaciexLynnx 15
I don't know about the world but 'America runs on Dunkin!' Should've opened a DD.
emilyjgraham 34
not really sure why I was thumbed down, I was making a statement that's true :/
vocaloidtiger 12
104 - No, you read it wrong. 38 was clearly just saying that it's no surprise that the coffee shop hasn't had much business, because the shop has only been open for a few days, which wouldn't bring in that much of a profit. Read before you write.
ElricMustang 23
Sell some Krabby Paties. Krabs earned his first dollar easily.
PantyGAMES 10
I was about to ask if this reminded anyone else of Mr. Krabs. Just don't get any paint on your dollar!
uberdubers 3
Krabs lives in bikini bottom. Just thought i'd point that out .. (y)
SystemofaBlink41 27
37- and the point of this comment is...?
Anbuntou 8
Give it time! Get promotions and advertise well.