Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said, "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She was on top, and then stopped, got off, and said, "Let's go get ice cream." I think this was her way of telling me I suck at sex. FML
Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML
Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home, he was masturbating. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML
Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home he was masturbating. FML
Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML
Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML
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Top comments
Pinkfl0yd 9
Doesn't matter; had snacks!
ThatGuyRory 9
Ice Cream makes everything better.
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Comments (242)
p3mguin 7
How about cum on Ice Cre-... , Never mind that's disgusting. Mind as well just go to my rock...
mellyb123 3
The first time me and my boyfriend had sex , his wouldn't get hard either at first. He was just nervous. So don't sweat it.
laden_swallow09 35
You say that as if eating ice cream is a bad thing.
theoreticalnerd 0
Seeing as it was their first time, I think it's almost inevitable that it's nerves. My boyfriend and I experienced this firsthand.
False_Stupidity 42
Everything takes time and practice
perdix 31
Ice cream is more satisfying than any sex you are going to get from this closet homosexual. If you want to stick with this guy, put on a fake beard and him do anal. Invest in a strap-on.
Corrupt_waffles 13
It can happen to anybody for numerous things. It happened to my poor boyfriend too. For him it was stress, apparently he is allergic to condoms as well, and circumcised males sometimes have trouble like that too. It actually helps if you put him on his back and assume control for a while. I feel bad when this happens to guys because that's their ego and it spirals out from there. :(
_wraith 15
As others have said, its probably just nerves. It can happen to anyone. Try not to sweat it too much, and better luck next time =)
AgaveLoco 5
Bad sex? No problem! Ice cream!
boofgall 16
#2 - I'm sure you wouldn't like if FML members pointed out your chubbiness, so why would you try to direct this FML towards OP being fat?