Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said, "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She was on top, and then stopped, got off, and said, "Let's go get ice cream." I think this was her way of telling me I suck at sex. FML
Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML
Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home, he was masturbating. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML
Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home he was masturbating. FML
Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML
Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML
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Top comments
Pinkfl0yd 9
Doesn't matter; had snacks!
ThatGuyRory 9
Ice Cream makes everything better.
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Comments (242)
Myo_fml 20
This is why eugenics still needs to be a common practice.
climbthoserocks 6
you really have no room to talk, calling her fat...
mikeawesome 0
1 in 5 men have E.D.
climbthoserocks 6
all they are saying is that normally, 14 years don't know that. calm your shit. your just upset cause this is the second post you have where people have been calling you out for being an idiot.
bizarre_ftw 22
It was probably the pressure, or he's asexual :/ (yes that is a thing, straight, gay, bi, asexual, it just speaks to your preference as far as sex gies and there are some [not many, but some] that are simply not interested in sex)
bizarre_ftw 22
*goes (my iPhone is a troll and refused to load until I only had 2 seconds left to edit)
perdix 31
Most people, including me, neglect the asexual option. I guess a guy who is not into women must be gay, butt he could also be asexual. I wonder if there is a group of militant asexuals that will reflexively thumb me down for mentioning their lifestyle.
bizarre_ftw 22
Just to mention: I have two asexual friends, so I'm well qualified to say that - though it's not common - it does exist
gingeryginger 1
Umm thats great. Who doesnt like icecream socials?
kimg0885 23
Maybe he doesn't like ******?
TheEpicPies 15
Aww, it's alright. Everyone moves at their own pace. Plus, icecreams awesome!
bizarre_ftw 22
I'm guessing it was a combo of pic and comment (not saying this as an insult - I actually like your pic, it's pretty, plus gingers are ******* awesome, and the colors go well - but, in combination with your comment, you sitting on a bed, leaning forward, with your head tilted down, and eyes up looking into the camera would do the trick for most guys [college level art classes = too aware of slight shifts in position and how they come across :/. Lol, so sorry if that was too specific for you/seemed creepy :) I swear I'm just took aware of these things ^_^ :P]) ((plus, let's not forget, guys do better with visuals))
thecovert 7
And four parents breathed a sigh of relief....albeit temporarily.