Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said, "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded, "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says, "Wow, this is just too funny." FML
Today, my boyfriend won't talk to me because I let a giggle slip during sex and he's convinced I was laughing at him. FML
Today, I woke my boyfriend up at 7 a.m. to have sex. I thought the sex was great, but later he kept complaining, "I can't believe you woke me up so early." FML
Today, I tried to wake my boyfriend up to sex. When I went to touch his penis, he elbowed me in the face, mumbled an apology and began snoring again. FML
Today, my boyfriend said we can't have sex with the light on anymore. He said he can never finish because the face I make when I orgasm makes him laugh. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML
Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML
Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML
Today, after some great sex, my boyfriend mused: "You know, from this position, I could punch you in the cunt and you wouldn't be able to stop me." I could only relax when he finally fell asleep nearly an hour later. FML
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Top comments
fearlesscooldude 12
That is actually pretty hilarious, sorry that you lost your morning pleasures though :)
adrian1910 15
Don't drop the soap
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Comments (70)
CrazyToasterWTF 5
Honestly I wish there was a button for "your life is awesome, that's hilarious" because sometimes that's the option I'd choose lol
natalieeliza 11
This isn't an FML, this is the greatest thing I've read on here.
titusswan 6
Hahaha! Ur a comedian in bed! That's awesome!!! Keep up the good work!
BreannaLeeRenee 18
this is just prime. my day is officially made.
Pyrithium 8
Be proud, OP. Not everyone has that great of comic timing.
yungmumma88 10
Thats epic!! well at least you know he's straight!
worldclassrager 41
I bet you hope that passes real soon...maybe tomorrow
CaroAurelia 12
It sucks that your sex ended abruptly but at least you and your man have a sense of humor.
justsomerandguy 8
Rape jokes are not funny. Supposedly.
MsKatieFace 11
Disappointing yes, but still a pretty fun way to start your day :)