Today, I woke my boyfriend up at 7 a.m. to have sex. I thought the sex was great, but later he kept complaining, "I can't believe you woke me up so early." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend complained that we may not work out because I'm "just too needy". I'd woken up early and texted him "good morning" while he was trying to sleep. FML
Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by waking him up with a blowjob, because he had always told me that it was a sexy fantasy of his. When he finally woke up, he got pissed off, rudely accused me of interrupting his beauty sleep, then soundly lay back down and fell asleep again. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me at 5am, just to say how great it was that I could still sleep two more hours before leaving for work. FML
Today, I tried to wake my boyfriend up to sex. When I went to touch his penis, he elbowed me in the face, mumbled an apology and began snoring again. FML
Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML
Today, my girlfriend gets horny at the most inconvenient times. She woke me up to have sex at 2 a.m. I have work at 6 a.m. FML
Today, I woke up early and made my boyfriend french toast. When he woke up, he yelled at me because it was his dish day and I was creating more dishes for him to do. He made me do the dishes. FML
Today, I woke up feeling like shit after I had spent the whole night taking care of my sick boyfriend. He got up early, feeling great, bouncing around the house. When I finally got up I told him I didn't feel well and he yelled at me for being a bitch in the morning that slows him down. FML
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Top comments
tenniemo 20
I’ve learned the best way to avoid that complaint is to make breakfast for him after. 🤷🏻♀️
rotflqtms_ 21
Unless he explicitly says you're allowed to wake him with sex, don't do that. That is in fact rape. Not everyone likes to be woken by sex. You may make him feel like you're only into him for the sex and that you treat him like a piece of meat. Just like we females would like to be treated with respect, we must treat guys with respect too. It'd be a total FML for me if I was peacefully sleeping and suddenly woke up to my boyfriend jamming his member inside any of my orifices. Don't do onto others as you wouldn't want others to do onto you.
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Comments (23)
Henry8cooper 15
Oh - don't wake him up - he can be used sleeping - no need for a conscious brain for those parts to function 😂
Shawnie Gallant 24
That’s rape.
Henry8cooper 15
It's a realistic joke. I once woke up because my girlfriend was having a good time with my private parts. When I consciously joined the fun - she eventually woke up too 😂 so in that case - mutual rape by your definition
Alup132 22
That’s rape...
Henry8cooper 15
I already replied to that once - and somehow I don't feel like a rape victim.
rotflqtms_ 21
Unless he explicitly says you're allowed to wake him with sex, don't do that. That is in fact rape. Not everyone likes to be woken by sex. You may make him feel like you're only into him for the sex and that you treat him like a piece of meat. Just like we females would like to be treated with respect, we must treat guys with respect too. It'd be a total FML for me if I was peacefully sleeping and suddenly woke up to my boyfriend jamming his member inside any of my orifices. Don't do onto others as you wouldn't want others to do onto you.
Henry8cooper 15
yeah - wake him up... ask if you're allowed to wake him up with sex... if you are....wait till he sleeps again... have sex...
ambiko 19
Literally rape
Henry8cooper 15
How come people feel the need to repeat a statement without reading the replies to that statement 🤔😒😂
ghaith 13
Pretty sure that’s rape
Henry8cooper 15
pretty sure you are number 4 writing the same reply without reading previous replys or the answers, and without offering even a single argument or thought. But hey - keep up the good work 😂😂
WaluigiKnuckles 5
I know you're joking but I just wanna continue the comment line. That's rape
Henry8cooper 15
I can assure you - that if my girlfriend initiates sex while I am sleeping - I will not complain about rape. I hope that most couples know eachother well enough to realise eachothers boundaries. If my girlfriend on the other hand stops fooling around in bed - fearing that you might call her actions rape - I will start complaining about a dull and uninspiring sexual relationship. And what is it with you guys - only repeating statements - not adding to an argument - not reading the replies - and certainly not answering them.
tenniemo 20
I’ve learned the best way to avoid that complaint is to make breakfast for him after. 🤷🏻♀️
purplekanc 24
I’ve learned that the best way to avoid that is not to give him any. If he’s complaining he doesn’t deserve it anyway. Be grateful for what you got
Joshawott 21
To be fair, if I was woken up earlier than planned for anything other than an emergency, I'd be pretty annoyed too. If he didn't want to be up so early though, he should have just said "No" and rolled over though.
TooTall0231 9
So what you're saying is if they don't audibly say the word "no" then it's not rape? You're retarded
bobsanction 18
You don't wake a man up early. Ever.