Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said, "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded, "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says, "Wow, this is just too funny." FML
Today, my boyfriend won't talk to me because I let a giggle slip during sex and he's convinced I was laughing at him. FML
Today, I woke my boyfriend up at 7 a.m. to have sex. I thought the sex was great, but later he kept complaining, "I can't believe you woke me up so early." FML
Today, I tried to wake my boyfriend up to sex. When I went to touch his penis, he elbowed me in the face, mumbled an apology and began snoring again. FML
Today, my boyfriend said we can't have sex with the light on anymore. He said he can never finish because the face I make when I orgasm makes him laugh. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML
Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML
Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML
Today, after some great sex, my boyfriend mused: "You know, from this position, I could punch you in the cunt and you wouldn't be able to stop me." I could only relax when he finally fell asleep nearly an hour later. FML
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Top comments
fearlesscooldude 12
That is actually pretty hilarious, sorry that you lost your morning pleasures though :)
adrian1910 15
Don't drop the soap
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Comments (70)
christina3466 17
At least he thought it was funny.
sydneysays 15
That's funny! Sad you lost your sexy times though
Dodge4x4Ram 46
with the right shirt it comes back lol
Cwilson3388 11
Hahahahahaha that just made my day!
annie917 15
Sounds like you were somewhat really screwed.
wvcheesehead 13
That will be something to remember and laugh about in your rocking chairs someday, I call it a win.
SMHsohard 22
And the grandkids will have something to tell their shrink when they hear the story. Everybody wins lol.
ahippienamedrae 10
This is my favorite post today
thedeej 10
Made me laugh! Good sense of humour though. Although you lost your morning pleasure there are always plenty of mornings! :)
cdalton 12
Keep the laughter going through the marriage. You'll need it.
sweetbliss3 37
I laughed so hard at this. I'm glad you have an awesome sense of humor, and he does, too. :-)
savemeSheehan 8
but what's a relationship with out humor.