Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said, "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded, "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says, "Wow, this is just too funny." FML
Today, my boyfriend won't talk to me because I let a giggle slip during sex and he's convinced I was laughing at him. FML
Today, I woke my boyfriend up at 7 a.m. to have sex. I thought the sex was great, but later he kept complaining, "I can't believe you woke me up so early." FML
Today, I tried to wake my boyfriend up to sex. When I went to touch his penis, he elbowed me in the face, mumbled an apology and began snoring again. FML
Today, my boyfriend said we can't have sex with the light on anymore. He said he can never finish because the face I make when I orgasm makes him laugh. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML
Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML
Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML
Today, after some great sex, my boyfriend mused: "You know, from this position, I could punch you in the cunt and you wouldn't be able to stop me." I could only relax when he finally fell asleep nearly an hour later. FML
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Top comments
fearlesscooldude 12
That is actually pretty hilarious, sorry that you lost your morning pleasures though :)
adrian1910 15
Don't drop the soap
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Comments (70)
fearlesscooldude 12
That is actually pretty hilarious, sorry that you lost your morning pleasures though :)
naajster 14
that was an awesome joke, OP! I approve of your sense of humor
incoherentrmblr 22
Inadvertent boner killer. Nice...
adrian1910 15
Don't drop the soap
AxelSchweis 7
or you will pay the price
IvyOswin 17
Or do, if you're into that :)
onlychildFTW 34
I always thought couldn't you bend your knees to pick it up? Keeping your butt facing the floor and away from crotches?
Mortoli 30
Lol just hope no desperate midgets there. Lol.
flufee2 27
At least you have a good sense of humor!!
Zman2017 18
Your picture makes you look like a douche.
flufee2 27
You look like you're 5 shut the **** up
ShadowlessSpear 21
Was there a reason for that #17?
bingo__O 15
Hey, you can have sex whenever you want, but that was a one-of-a-kind quip! xD
crissalove 22
At least you made him laugh!
Vickeh 15
Doesn't matter, had sex...i guess? But yea, everyone has their own herp derp moments :/
cryssycakesx3 23
no. no sex was had.
EvilTurtle 35
What in the hell does having a "herp derp " moment even mean?
brand125 17
a dumb moment?
starcaller17 16
#47, spot the vegan is more fun.
ostfaiz 18
a fabulous start of the day..hope u did something meaningful to regain the erection Op
homesuckfucker 28
I fail to see how your life is ******, OP. This actually sounds like a pretty hilarious situation. And it isn't like this is the last time you'll sleep with your future husband, right?
DLT_fml 20
Well, she was being ******...
Stormcloak 20
That is actually quite amazing if you ask me.
Enslaved 38
Unfortunately he doesn't sound like he was "Laughing so ..... Hard".
Enslaved 38
*Brainstorming* Halloween costumes are now on sale. How cute would it be if OP dressed up like a sexy female prison guard for their next session? ((:
Mortoli 30
Don't forget whip and hand cuffs. ;)