Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Mood ruined
Today, I was about to have sex with my boyfriend when he reminded me that I needed to cut my toe nails. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
anon
Lawrence, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I finally reached the point where it became necessary to give my boyfriend an ultimatum: either clip your toenails, or we aren't having sex. FML
wtf
Dearborn, United States
Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my boyfriend clipping his toe nails into my pillow case. FML
Anonymous
Australia
Today, I was about to go and take a shower when I saw a pair of scissors taped to the door at eye level with a note from my boyfriend saying "Time to trim that hairy thang down under." FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Marvel Comics
Today, my boyfriend fingered me. He never cuts his nails. It felt like I was getting intimate with Wolverine. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff
United States
Special interests
Today, my boyfriend told me how he used to collect little things when he was younger. He then decided to tell me about his current big toe nail collection. FML
onepussytwopussy
Birmingham, United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Sensitive snowflake
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML
only my life
Concord, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Oooooooh!
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and he was moaning a lot. My ego was quickly crushed, though, when I found out they were moans of pain due to a foot cramp. We had to stop so I could rub his foot better. FML
anon
Lehigh Acres, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Nailed it
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I guess she got bored because she started looking at her nails. FML
C0r1nn3
Santa Clara, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML
smellyfeet
United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was finally time for both of us to have sex with each other. He kept his shoes on the whole time because he thought he had smelly feet. FML
Top comments
heeheehoo 0
YDI for not being hygenic.
gh3tt0cak3s 0
lol moment ruiner :P
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Comments (56)
ohSNAPyall 27
"Get declawed, or I'll fantasize that you're Wolverine. Either works for me."
cooly1100 0
nasty
im2good25 0
You could have wolverined his ass
nirvanafreak93 0
lmao over a toe nail mate why was he looking at ur toes if u were Gunna have sex???
mattf013 0
you should have got up in the middle of it and clipped your toenails on the bed >:)
perdix 31
It's called a foot fetish and for those who have it, it may not just be foreplay, it may be the main event. Ever heard of a hand job? Guys with a foot fetish would want to receive one from their girlfriend's feet, and long, sharp toenails could be very unwelcome. I don't have this fetish, snick, but you'd better not have ugly feet!
Rickymonkeypants 0
He is right toe nails hurt!!!!!
Sirin_fml 47
Smooth as a seal's? Or even smoother than that, say... as smooth as Perdix' crotch?
perdix 31
snick, I hope your crotch has only one toe, and it should resemble a camel's ;) Sirin, I didn't know the word got around to the FML staff about my, ahem, "bikini area." I tried trimming, then shaving, then waxing but could never get the perfect finish. My sanding regime is excruciatingly painful, but the results are legendary. Random orbital palm sander -- FTW!
erikeet216 0
how is this an FML?
CallMeHush 1
I seem to remember a story about a Chinese emperor that wouldn't let a blade near his neck so they shaved him with hot coals. That should leave a nice finish.