Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Mood ruined
Today, I was about to have sex with my boyfriend when he reminded me that I needed to cut my toe nails. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
anon
Lawrence, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I finally reached the point where it became necessary to give my boyfriend an ultimatum: either clip your toenails, or we aren't having sex. FML
wtf
Dearborn, United States
Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my boyfriend clipping his toe nails into my pillow case. FML
Anonymous
Australia
Today, I was about to go and take a shower when I saw a pair of scissors taped to the door at eye level with a note from my boyfriend saying "Time to trim that hairy thang down under." FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Marvel Comics
Today, my boyfriend fingered me. He never cuts his nails. It felt like I was getting intimate with Wolverine. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff
United States
Special interests
Today, my boyfriend told me how he used to collect little things when he was younger. He then decided to tell me about his current big toe nail collection. FML
onepussytwopussy
Birmingham, United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Sensitive snowflake
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML
only my life
Concord, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Oooooooh!
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and he was moaning a lot. My ego was quickly crushed, though, when I found out they were moans of pain due to a foot cramp. We had to stop so I could rub his foot better. FML
anon
Lehigh Acres, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Nailed it
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I guess she got bored because she started looking at her nails. FML
C0r1nn3
Santa Clara, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML
smellyfeet
United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was finally time for both of us to have sex with each other. He kept his shoes on the whole time because he thought he had smelly feet. FML
Top comments
heeheehoo 0
YDI for not being hygenic.
gh3tt0cak3s 0
lol moment ruiner :P
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Comments (56)
lepercaunsal 0
u should keep ur toes cut then an I've had better ones that were bublished FML
lepercaunsal 0
did not*
babybubz 0
get a pedicure...
koko1718 0
what is with all the stupid FMLs lately?? this is not that bad
perdix 31
Ooh! I might try that after a good sanding.
lolcatsyo 0
kinky much? lol
xriley 0
DAMN...OP IF UR TOES WERE NEAR YOU WOULD BE PANTING RIGHT NOW...GUESS UR BF IS A NEAT FREAK
spaceshan69 0
so then cut your damn toenails and move the **** on with your life! your life isn't over cuz he noticed you shred toe-socks.
perdix 31
I think you are right about that, pendatic, I guess my dirty, little secret has made it around the offices of FML Corp., and I was trying to deflect it by steering the attention to my garden that had been rather weedy, but now is as smooth as Olympic ice. I was going to ask snick for pics to judge the nastiness of her crotch, but I think I prefer ignorance to prison. Stay tuned to our reports after the wedding night. I feel since FML brought us together, the readers deserve the explicit crotchetal details of the newlyweds. If she is being truthful, I may wish the Ken-doll scenario were true!
perdix 31
Calm down, jenninsac, I'm waiting til she's legal in Texas. Oh, yeah, plus FML is an online fantasy world and the chanced of me being in the same city as one of my "lovers" is slim to none. Now I see that you are legal . . .