Today, while making out with my boyfriend of a month, he started rubbing my boobs. He told me that he wanted to get some action before he broke up with me. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, while making out with my boyfriend of a month, he started rubbing my boobs. He told me that he wanted to get some action before he broke up with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 7 months broke up with me, and then asked if I'd give him head one last time before he left. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend whilst straddled on top of him. He started to undo my bra. I was fine with this but he stopped kissing me and looked at me with a slight smile. He then said, "I know this is going to kill the mood... but I feel like I could milk your boobs right now" FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He decided that the best time would be while I was giving him a blowjob. He then seemed confused as to why I didn't finish. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in bed, when suddenly, he turned to me and started playing with my breasts as if they were turn tables and he was the DJ. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend for the first time, he told me he wanted to break up. He told me my orgasm face wasn't something he could put up with. FML
Today, I was laying in bed with my boyfriend. He started caressing me, his eyes were closed, and he said, “I love touching your boobs.” Which was actually a roll of fat on my stomach. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I broke up. I was pretty upset, so one of my guy friends offered to comfort me and get some ice cream. Apparently his definition of "comforting" is to feel my tits and try to get me to give him head. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML
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Top comments
xXLenaXx 0
Knee him in the balls, and watch the action happen. :)
savemypandabear 0
that might have made you both sitting there with his hand on your boob suddenly less meaningful and moreso aaaaaaawkward. the only thing he'd get from me is a 'goodbye' and he can 'get some' fist to the face XD
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Comments (142)
Jedthekid 0
woooow
Trupe 3
Ha this reminds me of the boondocks for some reason. "I likes ya, and I wants ya. We can do this the easy way or the hard way. The choice is yours." "Listen, my top priority is booty"
HandOfClod 0
Bite his willy off! And then pickle it for later!
OwNowBrownCow 0
One thing we know for sure. OP is single.
Subtext 10
Yup. Wooooow, one month...
Football_5tar_JR 0
Canada girls always complaining about something. JK:) Agreed with whoever said to Peirce his nipple when he's sleeping. Oh, nobody said that? ...well...
Football_5tar_JR 0
LMFAO, how can you possible say nigga while you're white, especially when talking to a black dude, omfg funniest comment ever. I might just show everyone I know
phantom956 2
take it as a compliment at least he still loves your body
kimuchi_warui 4
Comment moderated.
rasellersjr 0
Definately an asshole... but at least he was honest :P
bishoprsv2 0
Wow the mods have been busy moderating. Surprise, surprise.
romskiies 0
boondock saints ftw! now that's the greatest movie made :D
sexysara2294 0
70-your sexxxxxxy
rockinguitar 4
haha I love the part where he shoots the cat and puts a painting over it lol
bubbarific 0
in Soviet Russia, boobs rub you! hmm... i think i move to Soviet Russia
raymel 5
alitle creepy
BigBoii123456 0
Comment moderated
CoolAsian 0
oh I know this one it's hit it then quit it, that jerk.
jawheaf 0
hahaha I watched that last night! "pause!"
Person000 0
Comment moderated. wow u are dumb if u don't understand ppl are just writing that, if the comment was moderated it would be gone.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
93: The mods recently started replacing the text with "Comment moderated" rather than deleting the entire thing. I'm not sure why, but I suspect the reasoning had something to do with so many app users on here. They often couldn't tell if they'd been moderated or if the comment bug ate their text, and most wouldn't check the actual site to find out. The disappearance of modded comments in the app caused some confusion as well.
waterynuggets 0
Comments were being modded last year, so it's not recent. But LOL at someone thinking users write it themselves.
epiccarrot 0
I hope the only action he got was a slap across the cheek, sorry about that OP.
Chickenfoot117 6
Hmm... no gender specified... urghh
kczey1234 0
wooowwww that's ****** up
Antologia 0
Time travel!
Anaxes 5
In Soviet Russia, people stopped saying Soviet Russia jokes ages ago.
ElmoStoleMyLook 1
78...you're my kinda woman ;) haha
davidcote 0
well about me k
sparkman97 7
****. Boyfriend of a month or boyfriend of the month? A month isn't a relationship.
rocketpopper1030 11
Better have dumped his ass right there OP
xXLenaXx 0
Knee him in the balls, and watch the action happen. :)
Some_guy92 0
wow... talk about violence!! ;0 I hope such a pretty girl like u didn't have a problem like thus before?! x)
andruha1123 5
лен, привет
OwNowBrownCow 0
Russian?
dax002 0
#2 win
ladiesman14 0
u better be careful. i know girls that have bern punched in the face for doing this. and they look ugly afterwards.
superbadd 0
#2 win :D
marinus_fml 20
#2 u really think that will go down well? knee me in the balls and see what happens!
Freeze_fml 17
You will get on your knees in pain?
Football_5tar_JR 0
29 win because it's true, hard to act like a bad ass when your holding yourself asking in a high pitch voice why she did that. But I applaude you for trying :)
xXLenaXx 0
Well I personally never had that problem cos I've got enough balls to tell sleezy guys to **** off before they get anywhere near. OP obviously goes for the "bad boy" type, cos no decent guy would do that. :P
daisuke_kiryu 0
I'd probably say it jokingly and the girl would probably take it seriously and I'd get hurt
mappinn 0
hey. your cute
Football_5tar_JR 0
hey 38, leave. She's mine we've been going out for 2 years.
Some_guy92 0
really?! intresting.. well it's always good that there's girls out there that defend themselves :)
kroms001_fml 0
42... whoops, I have been in a 3 year fling with her... can't we all share and get along?
demarcusT 0
knee me in the balls, and you,ll be waking up in the hospital after I knock you out
aardvarkish 17
Being kneed in the balls in painful, but doing it to sone one won't save your life.
xXLenaXx 0
Hah, demarcus, since now i know how violent *you* are, i'll make sure to poke you in the eyes first. While you're busy shouting in pain, I'll knee you in the balls and run. :) I'm a pretty fast runner. :)
demarcusT 0
lol smart but I have pretty quick reflexes. even if you do you'll be right in front of me within reach. unless you poke me with a long stick
aardvarkish 17
66 => don't respond to FML first thing in the morning!
fmljoiner 0
I hope you're murder raped hittin in the balls is never acceptable
morfoodpleezz 0
xXLenaXx I agree with ur post way up there. girls judge guys before they get a chance to know them, or they just go for bad boys like you said which makes them stupid because those types of guys just want action, not a nice relationship with a guy who cares. the "bad boys" will just ditch you when they have had their fill or another girl comes along for him to prey after
nadia716 3
i agree with lena also. accept i would've added in a dorky pun like "now that i've gotten you and that off my chest! haha! cya." and then ran off pretty fast because who knows how pissed he'll be when he regains feeling in his balls. lol. :]
matrasveer 1
Agreed with Marinus. I would never hit a girl for no reason, but knee me in the balls and I'll happily break that rule.
xXLenaXx 0
Well you wouldn't knock someone out if it were a light tap on the balls - that's just retarded; if it were a full-on kneeing, worthy of knocking someone out, then you'd be writhing in pain to properly knock someone out. Either way, I doubt you'd knock me out.
Thompyxxxxx 0
dude the pain doesnt last forever and if this happened im guessing she wouldnt be far out the door and id kick her so hard in the taco.
IHATEFMYLIFE 26
I'm sure with all the steroids you're taking #28, if someone kneed you in the balls you probably wouldn't even feel it.
IHATEFMYLIFE 26
31 Who the **** goes on FML anymore? Apparently you do!
stro88 6
pwned?
Freeze_fml 17
You dated him. Choose wisely next time.
Apolloholix13 0
your picture is awesome. and truth.
luccamosart 0
I've done that before but I then I decided to not break up wit her
mrsd9494 7
that's from Family Guy lmfao
suckmineplz 0
every FML I read ur talking about soviet Russia lol
romel18 0
hahaha tell him to fuxk off!!!
savemypandabear 0
that might have made you both sitting there with his hand on your boob suddenly less meaningful and moreso aaaaaaawkward. the only thing he'd get from me is a 'goodbye' and he can 'get some' fist to the face XD
LilCheeno 15
lol 9. I seen that one.
OwNowBrownCow 0
You should of yelled "THIS IS SPARTA" then in slow motion kick him into a bottomless pit. works everytime
Ariasmake_1 0
I think u should sleep with him and see what happens.