Today, we sparred for Tae Kwon Do. I forgot my cup, but I didn't think anyone sucked enough to hit me below the belt. Five seconds into a match, some girl knees me in the Hacky Sacks. After writhing in pain for 30 seconds, I got back up to spar. I didn't think she sucked enough to do it again. She did. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, during a judo session, I was paired with a thin, frail-looking rookie. Before a mock skirmish, as I'm much bigger, I said I'd take it easy on her, but also to give it her best shot. She immediately threw me on my face to the floor, knocking me out cold in 7 seconds. FML
Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML
Today, I got kneed in the stomach by a sixth grader. I couldn't breathe. I have a black belt in Taekwondo. FML
Today, at sparring, I got paired up with a girl, who said, "Don't go easy on me because I'm a girl!" Thirty seconds into the match, she was on the floor whimpering and crying. Now everyone is whispering and glaring at me. FML
Today, I was practising kicks with a a woman in my MMA class and for some reason she dropped her pads to ask me a question at the last second, and I kicked her in the jaw. I got banned from the class for not being careful. She’s the one lowered the pad in the middle of practice. FML
Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML
Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML
Today, I was laughing at a girl who really sucks at badminton. Turns out she has anger issues, and a really good aim when she's mad. I've never been hit so hard in the crotch before. FML
Today, I decided to challenge the jerk jock at work to a fight, since he kept poking fun at me for being a weakling. Having started taking MMA classes, I was confident I'd make him eat his words. Just my luck, he's an MMA instructor and kicked my ass effortlessly. Not what I had planned. FML
Today, I competed in a Tae Kwon Do competition. I came third with my team in the sparring event. My mum said as a joke, "Were there only 3 teams?" There were. FML
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Top comments
Finnboghi 0
She's a bitch. Once is your fault. Twice is hers.
lovely_189 0
stupid bitch, punch her in the boobs :D
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Comments (243)
gregthestrange 3
next time you see her, give her a solid falcon punch right to the ovaries
Hugeness 0
To all those saying he deserved to be kicked in the balls.. you're dead wrong. I'll assume it's mostly girls and demasculated boys saying this. I would have found the closest blunt object I could taken it right to her ovaries.
blacklagoon_fml 0
Accidents happen. You should have worn a cup. Or learn how to fight. YDI.
duckman714 0
1) A cup doesn't prepare you for real life. 2) Learn to block. 3) She is still a jerk for doing it. Let's face it though, YDI.
Pete123 0
WHY DID U GET BACK UP!!! AND HOW THE **** DID IT ONLY TAKE 30 SECONDS!?!?!?!?!
zozoalzuzu 0
sounds like you "suck enough" to not protect yourself. Understand our frustration but , c'mon.
BrookeIsMinty 0
hahah should have known better :]
thirddegree09 0
Any man who is justifying the fact that he's in pain is an idiot. It is entirely his fault for not blocking. DON'T BE A DUMBASS AND BLOCK, nutfuck
michellefleeger 0
Kick the dumb bitch back and make sure that she can't have kids afterwards
Quinnjamin 0
lol what a bitch