Today, we sparred for Tae Kwon Do. I forgot my cup, but I didn't think anyone sucked enough to hit me below the belt. Five seconds into a match, some girl knees me in the Hacky Sacks. After writhing in pain for 30 seconds, I got back up to spar. I didn't think she sucked enough to do it again. She did. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, during a judo session, I was paired with a thin, frail-looking rookie. Before a mock skirmish, as I'm much bigger, I said I'd take it easy on her, but also to give it her best shot. She immediately threw me on my face to the floor, knocking me out cold in 7 seconds. FML
Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML
Today, I got kneed in the stomach by a sixth grader. I couldn't breathe. I have a black belt in Taekwondo. FML
Today, at sparring, I got paired up with a girl, who said, "Don't go easy on me because I'm a girl!" Thirty seconds into the match, she was on the floor whimpering and crying. Now everyone is whispering and glaring at me. FML
Today, I was practising kicks with a a woman in my MMA class and for some reason she dropped her pads to ask me a question at the last second, and I kicked her in the jaw. I got banned from the class for not being careful. She’s the one lowered the pad in the middle of practice. FML
Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML
Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML
Today, I was laughing at a girl who really sucks at badminton. Turns out she has anger issues, and a really good aim when she's mad. I've never been hit so hard in the crotch before. FML
Today, I decided to challenge the jerk jock at work to a fight, since he kept poking fun at me for being a weakling. Having started taking MMA classes, I was confident I'd make him eat his words. Just my luck, he's an MMA instructor and kicked my ass effortlessly. Not what I had planned. FML
Today, I competed in a Tae Kwon Do competition. I came third with my team in the sparring event. My mum said as a joke, "Were there only 3 teams?" There were. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Finnboghi 0
She's a bitch. Once is your fault. Twice is hers.
lovely_189 0
stupid bitch, punch her in the boobs :D
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (243)
mattmag 0
What a bitch. Kneeing someone is not a TKD move.
xkaokaox 0
I'm a black belt in TKD... I don't remember the "knee your opponent in the balls" move. Hmm... lol
jiequals3 0
This has happened to me before... once a girl kicked me so her foot hit my butt and she was infront of me. I didn't feel any pain whatsoever. Oh and to #3 we also get disqualified for not wearing cups here.
Monty_Python 0
That sucks dude. FYL. Kick her ass in the next class.
omgoodnesswtf 0
FAIL!
well_this_sucks 0
STERILE!
wut_fml 0
lol you deserved it. Kicking someone in the balls might not be proper tae kwon do, but apparently it's a pretty effective way to defend yourself in general.
MukyDaCookie 0
Goddamnit man! Learn to block! That's why your in martial arts you fool. YDI for 2 reasons !) You didn't wear a cup 2) You cant block or evade a knee
ilikadapepsi 0
she deserves a firm pimp slap
MukyDaCookie 0
#41 that's utter BS. The first thing they teach you in a Karate class is thta it's only for self defense and to be used only as a last resort. A Karate master wouldn't go "beating up cops" for two reasons. 1) He is taught disciple and self control 2) Cops have guns and use them when thier lives are in danger.