Today, we sparred for Tae Kwon Do. I forgot my cup, but I didn't think anyone sucked enough to hit me below the belt. Five seconds into a match, some girl knees me in the Hacky Sacks. After writhing in pain for 30 seconds, I got back up to spar. I didn't think she sucked enough to do it again. She did. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, during a judo session, I was paired with a thin, frail-looking rookie. Before a mock skirmish, as I'm much bigger, I said I'd take it easy on her, but also to give it her best shot. She immediately threw me on my face to the floor, knocking me out cold in 7 seconds. FML
Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML
Today, I got kneed in the stomach by a sixth grader. I couldn't breathe. I have a black belt in Taekwondo. FML
Today, at sparring, I got paired up with a girl, who said, "Don't go easy on me because I'm a girl!" Thirty seconds into the match, she was on the floor whimpering and crying. Now everyone is whispering and glaring at me. FML
Today, I was practising kicks with a a woman in my MMA class and for some reason she dropped her pads to ask me a question at the last second, and I kicked her in the jaw. I got banned from the class for not being careful. She’s the one lowered the pad in the middle of practice. FML
Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML
Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML
Today, I was laughing at a girl who really sucks at badminton. Turns out she has anger issues, and a really good aim when she's mad. I've never been hit so hard in the crotch before. FML
Today, I decided to challenge the jerk jock at work to a fight, since he kept poking fun at me for being a weakling. Having started taking MMA classes, I was confident I'd make him eat his words. Just my luck, he's an MMA instructor and kicked my ass effortlessly. Not what I had planned. FML
Today, I competed in a Tae Kwon Do competition. I came third with my team in the sparring event. My mum said as a joke, "Were there only 3 teams?" There were. FML
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Top comments
Finnboghi 0
She's a bitch. Once is your fault. Twice is hers.
lovely_189 0
stupid bitch, punch her in the boobs :D
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Comments (243)
ShinyDirt 0
uh...you say she sucks for hitting you in the balls, which i wholeheartedly agree with as the girl obviously has little control. but then dont you also suck for not being able to block it?
Bear_Sandwich 0
owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
thirddegree09 0
I am currently training to get my third degree black belt in karate. I have been training since 1998, I started sparing in 1999. I wore a cup for one tournament and since then I haven't worn a cup. SUCK IT UP!
cthulhu1138 1
If you can't defend against groin shots, you're the one that sucks, not her.
Calm_Mind 0
Oh, dude. I know that feeling. In my years of TKD, I've been kicked everywhere, including MANY shots to the balls, and I never bothered to get a cup.
Don_fml 0
When I was studying martial arts, the groins wasn't off limits. Stop relying on your cup - learn to defend a groin attack. Studying for tournament rules will only get your ass kicked on the street.
sliimxshady 0
Guess you won't forget your cup anymore.
HappyAznKid96 0
She sucks at sparring dumbass lol what belt are you im A black belt got it in march
nerd123456789 0
you're right #77!
xsweetlysour 0
" Today, I kicked a guy in the balls. TWICE! YES! But then they realized that I was doing it on purpose. FML