Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it was boiling hot so my boyfriend and I decided to sunbathe in the garden and ended up falling asleep for a few hours. Not only is my back so burnt that I can't lie down, I also have a white hand print on my upper back where my boyfriend had left his arm while we slept. FML
Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I woke up, there was a blob of sunscreen on my leg. Thinking it was my boyfriend who was sweet enough to squeeze sunscreen for me, I rubbed it into my leg. After smelling my hands, I discovered it was bird poop. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were outside tanning in the sun. I asked her if she could put some sunscreen on my back. Thinking it would be funny, she used the lotion to write "I Love Little Boys". I work as a children's swimming instructor. FML
Today, I went to the beach with my friends to show off my engagement ring. I fell asleep in the sun and woke up extremely sunburnt to a text from my boyfriend confessing that he's been cheating on me. I gave him the ring back. Now I have its tan line on my finger. FML
Today, after having a naked wrestle with my boyfriend, I discovered he'd left a skidmark on my stomach. FML
Today, I was tanning by the pool. My friend put his arms under my back and knees and picked me up. He threw me across the kiddy pool to my boyfriend, shouting "Catch!" My boyfriend didn't catch me. Instead of a tan, I have a huge bruise. FML
Today, I was at the beach with my boyfriend in Key West. I had gotten a bikini wax and new swimsuit for the occasion. My boyfriend was being romantic until he pulled a long hair from a mole on my leg. It's all fun and games until the mole starts bleeding, profusely. FML
Today, I was cuddling with the man I've been seeing, and he started caressing the mammoth of all pimples on my back. He continued fondling me while lecturing me on the dangers of skin cancer. FML
Today, I woke up to find some really weird stuff in my bed. We just got back from vacation in Florida, and my husband burned really bad. I woke up to his peeled off skin all over my face. FML
Today, at the beach, my boyfriend picked me up and carried me over his shoulder. I felt my bikini top come undone in the process. I panicked and pulled down on his shorts. We were fined for indecent exposure. FML
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Top comments
Anteezy 7
haha genius.
aback 5
He wanted to be able to say that his dick had made you sore, and that was the only way.
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Comments (151)
Gulo_fml 0
Can somebody explain to me how she could have had a penis BURNED onto her back without her noticing/thinking that her boyfriend was putting on sunscreen? Sunscreen doesn't hurt. The only thing I can think of would be a magnifying glass, but you would know if that has happening because of the extreme levels of pain.
Ascaryrobot 0
You're a ******* idiot, I'm not going to explain it to you because you just won't learn.
kitten1323 19
are you ******* retarded!? he put the sunscreen on her BACK but left part of her back without sunscreen on it. That one part was shaped like a penis she got SUNBURNED!!! God your a ******* idiot!!!! She cant see her back and sunburn doesnt hurt when you get you your skin justs gets warm, please PLEASE do us a favor and kill yourself! please!!! just kill yourself so noone has to deal with your stupidity anymore
MyWay95 0
the "kill yourself" part was a little harsh but i basically agree
Dopeyrox 0
your boyfriends stupid now as revenge you can say your penis is bigger than his :D
jessxoxo28 5
WOW, lmao!!! ur bf is so immature. u should get a real man
HahaBob 0
AHAHAHA!!! This made me laugh out loud. I like this.. Your guy's a douche though.
bostonfan 0
i really don't know what #2 was talking about i don't like (most) immature humor but "epic" and "win" definately describe this. and yes, I "giggled my balls off". take the stick out of your ass and enjoy the humor.
jelsew 0
/WIN
razz122 5
thats hilarious. time for the tanning booth.
lilah09 0
Youre clearly not from australia. We know all the health risks and blah blah blah its drowned into us from day one, at the same time its not THAT big a deal, yeah sunburn aint good, but seriously just ctfo. Oops this was aimed at some dude who freaked out about sunburn and cancer
ashiiya 0
Haha it's not a matter of "it'll be there forever". More like the fact that he would do such a thing, especially when he's her boyfriend......it's kind of disappointing, even when I don't know the person. Any guy who would do that to his girl and think it's funny should just go crawl into a cave and die. It's not even funny - if that happened to me, I would've friggin smashed their face in.
lilah09 0
wow what an over reaction that would be
Circled 0
I agree..it seems like something a 4 year old boy would do and laugh at. He let his girlfriend get sunburned as a joke..I don't think beating him up is the answer but that really wasn't nice, sunburns are painful = If he was THAT determined to make that kind of a joke, he could've at least done it in a way that wouldn't end in her physical pain = Marker or something. Still mean and immature.. OP, your boyfriend needs to grow up and I think you'd be better off without him..
watchforzombies 0
LMAO! This just made my day! Thanks for sharing that! Sorry that you got a sunburn, though. =[