AnRom
United States
Today, I spent five minutes trying to kill a spider with my mind. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
scarred4life
Canada
Today, I was absentmindedly playing with a piece of lint. When I looked at it, I realized that I had been rolling and squeezing a dead spider in my fingers for about five minutes. FML
Jesus
Canada
Today, I saw what I thought was a spider. Wanting to kill it as quickly as possible, I smacked my hand against the wall with force. It was a nail. FML
Anonytard
Toronto, Canada
Today, I tried to kill a spider by throwing a shoe at it. All it did was slice the spider's egg sac open, releasing all its babies. FML
jillydark6609
United States
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
pinkXpress1023
United Kingdom
Today, I had the opportunity to taste a live spider by walking into its web in the dark. FML
OuchImAMoron
This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff
Old Bridge, United States
Reflex
Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on my leg. My first reaction was to stab it. FML
lexii
United States
Today, while trying to kill a spider in my kitchen, I thought it would be wise to throw a bottle at it. The bottle hit the wall, bounced off the fridge and hit me in the face. The lucky spider crawled away, and is surely still laughing somewhere. FML
AussieGirl
Australia
Freaked
Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML
eebie jeebies
Cypress, United States
Today, a spider crawled across my arm. After a quick dance in a fit of panic, I managed to scramble onto my bed. I thought I would stand up to see if I could spot the spider and maybe kill it. I was then promptly knocked unconscious by my ceiling fan. FML
HighasaCloud
Today, while typing at my desk, I leaned back in my chair to stretch my arms. A spider dangling from the ceiling must have been watching me since it had perfect timing on its descent right into my open yawning mouth. FML
Top comments
rhodium 0
Even wizards need to mutter a spell, you know...
Anteezy 7
FYL for not having supernatural powers.
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Comments (86)
imago_fml 0
Wow.... I modded this with a no... So, there are retards moderating letting stupid crap through. God...
kaleid0scopeEyes 0
No, this FML really does suck, just because this is how you spend your Saturday nights doesn't mean you need to insult imago.
armman 4
One of the gayest FML's I ever read.
analo_fml 8
LOL this is like a scene from Men Who Stare at Goats, Lyn killed a goat with his mind :S that movie is awesome!
expen_dable 0
its better if pendantic spends his or her saturday nights trying to use mind powers, otherwise he or she would be shooting up schools and making hit lists and trying to put curses on the "popular girls" the weirdos need something to keep them occupied, thats why God invented Twilight, Myspace and Emo music
dudeitsdanny 10
HEY HEY HEY.... Don't diss emo music... Real emo music isn't what it used to be since those guys started wearing eyeliner and pretending to be gay... Anyways, this is only an FML, because you didn't succeed. =)
Jefe_fml 0
Duuuuuuuuuuuuuumb.
roflmaonade 2
i also don't find much humor in this FML. i read it over thrice so you can't say i didn't try.
NoNameForM3 0
did it work :?!?!!?
MissaWinde12 0
You're kidding about the emo music, right? Please tell me you're kidding.
rhodium 0
Even wizards need to mutter a spell, you know...
roflmaonade 2
i'm quite sure rowling tells us of nonverbal spells that require a practiced mind
roflmaonade 2
i'm quite sure rowling tells us of nonverbal spells that require a practiced mind
Venge_fml 0
Dude. You gotta use goats. Didn't you watch the movie?
Anteezy 7
FYL for not having supernatural powers.
dex_ter 0
well it's time to get your head checked... go mine checked last week ...:D
Starfire22 5
Haha this is awsome, should have said "avada kedavra" but it's a unforgivable curse, so maybe not...
overrandom 4
This happened to me last week. I was unsuccessful, so I turned and looked at the flying rabbitbunny to my right. "It doesn't work, Mr. Wilksonstein!" I told him. "Don't worry. You just haven't eaten the muffins yet," Mr. Wilksonstein told me. Sure enough, to my left was a plate of muffins. Blueberry muffins! I spent no time looking at it and more time eating it. But, when I turned around, the spider was gone. I was sad. Where'd Mr. Wilksonstein go, anyway?
Lozza 0
Thumbs up for creativity!
Skullcrusher 5
Who gives a **** Major Dumbass!?
iltby 3
Belongs on MLIA IMO.
your_face 15
Yep. YLIA.
kaleid0scopeEyes 0
I guess you're one of those high schoolers who wears capes to school and growls at anyone who tries to talk to you, and then you go and complain that nobody likes you.