Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it was boiling hot so my boyfriend and I decided to sunbathe in the garden and ended up falling asleep for a few hours. Not only is my back so burnt that I can't lie down, I also have a white hand print on my upper back where my boyfriend had left his arm while we slept. FML
Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I woke up, there was a blob of sunscreen on my leg. Thinking it was my boyfriend who was sweet enough to squeeze sunscreen for me, I rubbed it into my leg. After smelling my hands, I discovered it was bird poop. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were outside tanning in the sun. I asked her if she could put some sunscreen on my back. Thinking it would be funny, she used the lotion to write "I Love Little Boys". I work as a children's swimming instructor. FML
Today, I went to the beach with my friends to show off my engagement ring. I fell asleep in the sun and woke up extremely sunburnt to a text from my boyfriend confessing that he's been cheating on me. I gave him the ring back. Now I have its tan line on my finger. FML
Today, after having a naked wrestle with my boyfriend, I discovered he'd left a skidmark on my stomach. FML
Today, I was tanning by the pool. My friend put his arms under my back and knees and picked me up. He threw me across the kiddy pool to my boyfriend, shouting "Catch!" My boyfriend didn't catch me. Instead of a tan, I have a huge bruise. FML
Today, I was at the beach with my boyfriend in Key West. I had gotten a bikini wax and new swimsuit for the occasion. My boyfriend was being romantic until he pulled a long hair from a mole on my leg. It's all fun and games until the mole starts bleeding, profusely. FML
Today, I was cuddling with the man I've been seeing, and he started caressing the mammoth of all pimples on my back. He continued fondling me while lecturing me on the dangers of skin cancer. FML
Today, I woke up to find some really weird stuff in my bed. We just got back from vacation in Florida, and my husband burned really bad. I woke up to his peeled off skin all over my face. FML
Today, at the beach, my boyfriend picked me up and carried me over his shoulder. I felt my bikini top come undone in the process. I panicked and pulled down on his shorts. We were fined for indecent exposure. FML
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Top comments
Anteezy 7
haha genius.
aback 5
He wanted to be able to say that his dick had made you sore, and that was the only way.
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Comments (151)
kp1994 0
Wow what a dick!
mikeeeeeste 0
Haha your boyfriend is my hero.
osnapp55 0
wow. epic pwnage, luckily for you, his penis is the size of a breakfast sausage so it shouldnt matter.
xKoga 0
This made my night. It's pretty funny that some of these people are seriously offended. FYL for walking around the beach with a penis-outlined in sunscreen, but YDI for not having a sense of humor about it. At least he didn't do it with anything permanent, or something embarrassing, like shaving, painting, using a Sharpie marker, etc.
tipple 0
Q1: Why are you dating a seven-year-old? Or at least, someone who acts like a seven-year-old? There's nothing funny about taking advantage of people's trust, and there's really nothing funny about drawing penises. Your BF is the dick - I suppose he also giggles about farting? *rolls eyes*. Q2: If you can't trust him to put sunscreen onto you - would you trust him with photos of you; or to buy the groceries; or to keep a promise?
Jason_Q 4
This was on The Man Show. So it's not really funny.
Ninjaface 0
Tell him he was too high.
l33tm0nk3y 0
What a douche.
ajb_ball 0
guys one sunburn aint gonna do anything
Eggplant22 0
wouldn't she have realized he didn't put sun screen all over her back? dumbass