Today, I was at the beach with my boyfriend in Key West. I had gotten a bikini wax and new swimsuit for the occasion. My boyfriend was being romantic until he pulled a long hair from a mole on my leg. It's all fun and games until the mole starts bleeding, profusely. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend told me there was a tick on my shoulder and that he would remove it so I shouldn't worry. After about a half hour, lots of blood, and a ton of pain, he told me it was just a mole. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML
Today, my boyfriend bought a bikini he wanted me to wear in our hot tub. Unfortunately, I ran out of swimsuits for my daily swim at the public pool, so I took the new bikini. Now I know why he wanted to be alone when I wore it, as water turns it see-through and melts the stitching so it falls off. FML
Today, while waxing my bikini line, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me which caused me to close my legs. I am now sitting in the sink with my best friend pouring hot water "down there" trying to remove the wax. FML
Today, at the beach, my boyfriend picked me up and carried me over his shoulder. I felt my bikini top come undone in the process. I panicked and pulled down on his shorts. We were fined for indecent exposure. FML
Today, an ocean wave tore off my bikini bottoms. It took me a few seconds to notice after I stood up, by which time all of my friends, and quite a few other people, had seen my downstairs zone and laughed at me since I recently trimmed it into a love heart shape for my boyfriend. FML
Today, I went skinny dipping with a few friends at my friend's house. It was really fun until one of my friends shrieked, saying there were bugs in the pool. Everyone jumped out and looked at her. Turns out the "bugs" she saw was my body hair. FML
Today, my boyfriend was rubbing my leg. He started laughing and said, "Babe, is this your leg, or am I petting Daisy?" Daisy is my dog. I need to shave. FML
Today, I waxed my upper lip hair. My boyfriend later told me that he missed my mustache rubbing onto his. FML
Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I woke up, there was a blob of sunscreen on my leg. Thinking it was my boyfriend who was sweet enough to squeeze sunscreen for me, I rubbed it into my leg. After smelling my hands, I discovered it was bird poop. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
CallMeHush 1
Holy Moley!!!
greeneyedgoalie7 0
oooh ouch why would he do that?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (126)
demon1k 0
That's ****** disgusting. YDI for not getting your huge nasty hairy mole removed.
GR3453m0nk3y 4
yea im trying to eat i dont want to hear about that thats ******* disgusting
reyemrein 0
Florida State Motto: No Fat Chicks.
Horney4her69 0
who said fat? but that mole is nauseating.
shix 0
I feel sick loll FYL
erinelizabeth201 0
who the **** said she was fat? I don hijkbit was anywhere in her thing. nope. so your a dumb shit.
soinmagic 0
Then why did you read it? No one forced you so dont complain. ;D
CallMeHush 1
I did but I also thought about them when I read about the splinter in the guy's ass for some reason.
comatoast 0
That's ******* disgusting! Ugh........I just threw up in my mouth a little
aDerangedStateOf 0
Sexy.....
nolasaints 0
gag
thatonegirl2012 0
lmao
jamieeeee 0
baby barfed..
harryman04 0
32 = win
bfffness 0
those are the exact words I was gonna put on here... including "******"... and the BF is ****** disgusting too for yanking on that shit.
omg_thats_funny 0
******* ewww. nasty mole person.
dreamer2526 0
at 113... you're an idiot. moles are very very common. grow up.
michellez 5
ha that was funnier than the fml
greeneyedgoalie7 0
oooh ouch why would he do that?
Lethario14 0
4 real!!
JojoChuo 8
I swear "mole hairs" are plugs in disguise D:
eastside1313 5
seriously how the f*ck is that romantic
emba_fml 13
I like to assume it was an accident so I'm not as grossed out
ToTheThighs 6
Simply grooming I suppose. My girlfriend and I pull out each other's ingrown hairs and such and it's pretty cute
DedeleMan 21
I don't see how that's cute...
WinglessAngel_fml 0
that's crazy
NeonWar__ 0
you'd better get that checked!
RaWriTbEkElliE 0
dats disgusting..
LemonMan 0
If all he noticed was your mole than he must be gay.
Shadow14l 0
#8 Everyone in the keys is gay...
CallMeHush 1
Holy Moley!!!
ImaginaryFoe 1
I read it that way at first glance, too. I was going to say YDI whatever happened!
ezrl_ritvoi 0
^this^
mariahrawks 0
@9 lmao. that's greeeeat. ew, Get your mole removed!
Ajjas013 6
I saw the same exact thing. It must be the mushrooms.
silentfog 0
I kept reading kanye west
purplemnm 9
kanye wests gf is Jack daniels, so explain how a bottle of whiskey can post on fml!
xHabsfanx 0
No Kanye is a gay fish... lol sorry after seeing that south park spoof of him, that's the only thing that comes to mind when I hear his name... and to the OP, get that thing checked.
purplemnm 9
98 does that mean he posted the fml about the fish face after orgasming?
Tootsiee 0
Key West? that's gay-city .. I live in Miami .. I know :)
melonkelly 0
that's what I hear too! I'm in Orlando
katiebabe93 0
Miami is by far better haha but that sucks about your mole sorry but still this is so gross but I still lmfao
raithex 0
That's seriously disgusting. I was almost sick when I read this. This is a really weird FML. I mean, it just seems like something most people wouldn't have put on a public website/iPod touch and iPhone app. But that's my opinion.
sam_hates_ham 0
just as I was about to take a bite out of my plain mcdonalds chicken wrap