Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it was boiling hot so my boyfriend and I decided to sunbathe in the garden and ended up falling asleep for a few hours. Not only is my back so burnt that I can't lie down, I also have a white hand print on my upper back where my boyfriend had left his arm while we slept. FML
Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I woke up, there was a blob of sunscreen on my leg. Thinking it was my boyfriend who was sweet enough to squeeze sunscreen for me, I rubbed it into my leg. After smelling my hands, I discovered it was bird poop. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were outside tanning in the sun. I asked her if she could put some sunscreen on my back. Thinking it would be funny, she used the lotion to write "I Love Little Boys". I work as a children's swimming instructor. FML
Today, I went to the beach with my friends to show off my engagement ring. I fell asleep in the sun and woke up extremely sunburnt to a text from my boyfriend confessing that he's been cheating on me. I gave him the ring back. Now I have its tan line on my finger. FML
Today, after having a naked wrestle with my boyfriend, I discovered he'd left a skidmark on my stomach. FML
Today, I was tanning by the pool. My friend put his arms under my back and knees and picked me up. He threw me across the kiddy pool to my boyfriend, shouting "Catch!" My boyfriend didn't catch me. Instead of a tan, I have a huge bruise. FML
Today, I was at the beach with my boyfriend in Key West. I had gotten a bikini wax and new swimsuit for the occasion. My boyfriend was being romantic until he pulled a long hair from a mole on my leg. It's all fun and games until the mole starts bleeding, profusely. FML
Today, I was cuddling with the man I've been seeing, and he started caressing the mammoth of all pimples on my back. He continued fondling me while lecturing me on the dangers of skin cancer. FML
Today, I woke up to find some really weird stuff in my bed. We just got back from vacation in Florida, and my husband burned really bad. I woke up to his peeled off skin all over my face. FML
Today, at the beach, my boyfriend picked me up and carried me over his shoulder. I felt my bikini top come undone in the process. I panicked and pulled down on his shorts. We were fined for indecent exposure. FML
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Top comments
Anteezy 7
haha genius.
aback 5
He wanted to be able to say that his dick had made you sore, and that was the only way.
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Comments (151)
cchamp27 0
you weren't suspicious when he was applying the sunscreen with ONE FINGER?
AntiChrist7 0
So why do you date a 7 year old? YDI
SeximusPrime 0
He just showed you what a dick he is, literally. DUMP HIM.
catatonicsleep 17
now make him rub after sun into your back every night until you are healed
myk_fml 0
hey I think I saw the picture of it on the Internet.
robertsk89 0
what a deck!!!!
fYOURlife1989 0
hey...at least your boyfriend's penis is "giant" :)
ashleynonymous 0
Purchase powdered red food dye. Say you have to use the restroom before he takes a shower. Go in bathroom, remove shower head, pour food dye into said shower head and screw back on. prank worked if you hear bf screaming from bathroom.
357oboh 0
LOL GOOD SHIT :D
azure8787 0
Dump him because he played a joke on you? Dude. People are stupid. A healthy sense of humor makes for a better relationship.
Confuzzledmuch 0
This isn't funny, this is awful. What an immature asshole! I'd break up with him. And for all you people joking about sunburn, it's not a joke. All it takes is one serious burn to get skin cancer and seeing no sunscreen was put on it could be this one. How do you know that she doesn't have a ball or a photoshoot etc to go to?
superkitten_fml 0
#42 - If OP is the type of person to go to balls and photoshoots regularly, then what the hell is she doing on FML? :) Also, if it's not that bad of a burn it will fade soon, I'd get a little mad at him but wouldn't be able to stop laughing about it xD
alexandraa_fml 0
LOL
ScaryyMary 14
Yes, I would just DIE if Prince Charming gave me a penis sunburn before my fancy ball tonight! It just wouldn't match my glass slippers AT ALL!