Today, my friend and I went for a late night walk along the beach. We decided to sit down on a log. It was a dead seal. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my family and I went to the coast. Our dog was off the leash because we were the only people around. He was delighted to find a dead seal carcass and roll around in its remains. We then had a 3 hour drive home. FML
Today, after pulling an all-nighter, I fell asleep at the beach. My friends took the opportunity to bury me in the sand, place food all around me, and wait for a flock of hungry seagulls to attack me. To top it off, they taped it all. FML
Today, after a stressful series of events, I went to the beach to unwind. I sat on the sand, breathed in deeply and closed my eyes, trying to find some sort of inner peace. Then a seagull shat on me. FML
Today, I fell asleep while at the beach with friends. Someone thought it would be funny to put chunks of bread on and around my junk. Seagulls have sharp beaks. FML
Today, I went to the beach. My friend decided it would be funny to push me into a bunch of Portuguese Man-O-War jellyfish washed up on the shore. Did you know their tentacles can sting even if they’re dead? FML
Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I woke up, there was a blob of sunscreen on my leg. Thinking it was my boyfriend who was sweet enough to squeeze sunscreen for me, I rubbed it into my leg. After smelling my hands, I discovered it was bird poop. FML
Today, I went on a relaxing nature hike to de-stress. I got lost for hours, encountered a bear, and had to play dead, only for the bear to steal my sandwich then sit there for hours before finally leaving. FML
Today, my friends and I spent a little too long enjoying a beautiful cliff overlooking the ocean. We spent the next 3 hours lost in a pitch black jungle with only one pocket-sized flashlight. FML
Today, my friends and I went camping. In the middle of the night, they carried me deep into the forest and left me there. I stepped on a beehive as I walked back to the tent. FML
Today, I went skinny-dipping with my best friend. We were on the beach and it was fairly crowded but we got in the water at this really secluded area. While we were swimming I looked up to see a homeless man wearing my clothes, walking away. FML
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Top comments
stevie1359 0
Couldnt you smell it? Lol
swasticop 0
As long as you didn't have sex on it...
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Comments (211)
Imachillifilliz 2
I'd poop my pants
RayanneY 0
Really, you couldn't see it before you sat?..
coolchick1130 9
ew that's disgusting
cheesetothepower 7
How did you not realize it was a dead animal from the smell? It doesn't make it suck any less, but I would imagine it would smell horrific enough to warn you.
cheesetothepower 7
How did you not realize it was a dead animal from the smell? It doesn't make it suck any less, but I would imagine it would smell horrific enough to warn you.
Eaglestrike117 29
Higher than seeing a log on the beach... Seriously, OP, how did you not notice it was a dead seal?
thir13enthour 0
Did that "Seal" the deal. Lol bad pun...
Calyx_fml 22
It wasn't dead until you fatties sat on it.
jallred254 4
And you weren't fat til you ate it
jonmansheppard 9
careful, dead things that are sat on are known to attack back *sits on same seal*. oh shit...
Raheemdplayer 7
LMAO, you're lucky it didn't explode from the pressure, that would have been disgusting