Today, I found out that a girl I had been seeing for two months used her having a brain tumor as an excuse to break up with me. She said she wouldn’t feel good for three months because of treatment, but then a month into "treatment", she posted a picture on a date with someone else. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out I have aggressive brain cancer, then my girlfriend dumped me because, as she put it, if I’m going to be dead in a year anyway, she might as well move on now so as not to waste her time. I knew she was evil, it’s what I loved about her, but man, this is low even for her. FML
Today, my girlfriend of six months broke up with me. In her words, “Liking you fucked up my brain.” Later that afternoon, she posted a story of her with another dude’s arm around her. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with a tumor and had to cancel on the holidays with my crush of 4 years. He is taking another girl with him instead. FML
Today, I had a date with a woman I had been talking to for a month. We hit it off, the date went fantastic, and we agreed to see each other again. Fast forward a few hours and I'm told she decided to pursue someone else, equates it to "bad timing", but wants to be friends. If not for bad luck, I'd have no luck. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with depression. My girlfriend's idea of consoling me was to break up with me because she can't date a "psycho". FML
Today, my long-term girlfriend broke up with me because my hair "falls out" and I "will definitely be bald soon", even though it's not that bad. The same girl who I supported through her chemotherapy and gave her promises that I would stay with her no matter how she looked. FML
Today, after spending three weeks in the hospital for a kidney infection, I found out the girl I have been dating now has a girlfriend. I guess that’s why she couldn’t visit me this whole time. FML
Today my girlfriend of three years broke up with me. Why? She wasn’t sure about the relationship anymore. She seemed pretty sure though, seeing she was on Tinder less than two hours after, thanks to the three different friends who all called me about it. FML
Today, a girl I was dating broke up with me for her previous fling. She was scared of committing to a relationship, even though she ended it with him for me. But now she would rather be with this other guy in secret, who is married, and has no plans on being with her for long term. FML
Today, my girlfriend missed our date, so I angrily texted her, telling her if she can't make our dates then we should break up, and generally telling her off. Five minutes later I get a picture of her sleeping in a hospital bed from her mother, saying, "Shut the fuck up, she had appendicitis." FML
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Top comments
diraven 15
Maybe you were the tumor
Sdog 6
I use my brain tumor as an excuse all the time. It’s really a great excuse to have around. Like, sorry I was being an asshole, the brain tumor was acting up again. 🤣🤣
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Comments (4)
diraven 15
Maybe you were the tumor
RichardPencil 32
That Make-A-Wish Foundation sure does some great work for the cancer victims!
Sdog 6
I use my brain tumor as an excuse all the time. It’s really a great excuse to have around. Like, sorry I was being an asshole, the brain tumor was acting up again. 🤣🤣