Today, I found out everyone in my neighborhood thinks that I'm a beaten woman due to the reoccurring ambulances in front of my house at night. My kid just chokes on everything, and they don't believe me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that our neighbors told almost everyone on our street that I was mentally handicapped. All this time I wasn't sure why they would speak slowly and loudly at me. Now they won't believe me when I tell them I'm a 4.0 GPA student. FML
Today, I had to explain to a hospital social worker that my young son is not abused, he is just rowdy and that he knocked himself unconscious and shattered 4 teeth in a bizarre stunt involving a tree, my ironing board, a mop bucket and lots of duct tape. I'm not sure the hospital believes me. FML
Today, I started shaking my son's Little Bill doll in frustration, as the batteries weren't working. My nosy neighbor saw through the window and called the cops. They wouldn't believe me and now the whole neighborhood thinks I'm a child abuser. FML
Today, I'm incredibly sick. I can't breathe, can't walk ten steps without falling, and no one believes me. My mom just sat next to me and said, "Honey, isn't this all a bit much? Quit being dramatic, because I can't believe this." When I asked why I would fake this, my sister yelled, "Guess you can't go shopping!" I'd want to. FML
Today, I have to deal with being laughed at by my mother and sister, because they keep making sharp movements towards me, causing me to flinch. This is because I got mugged and beaten last night. They think it's hysterical. FML
Today, I found out why people in my new neighborhood keep giving me weird looks. For a laugh, my brother had gone around telling them I'm a parolee, and implying that I couldn't be trusted around their children. FML
Today, I was doing my jazz aerobics workout and accidentally kicked my 3 year old daughter in the face. Everyone we know, including my wife, thinks I beat her. FML
Today, my mother topped someone's story of their child's problems by saying I'm on drugs. This resulted in people showing up to stage an intervention for me. She made the whole thing up and I've never used drugs, but no one believes me. FML
Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML
Today, it's Halloween. I get bullied every day and this was no exception, but this time I got beat up so hard I bled. Everyone thought it was part of my costume. FML
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Top comments
TheFangedDonut 13
Domestic abuse is nothing to CHOKE about
Xobubblyxo 23
It sucks that your neighbors are so quick to judge, but maybe if you explain the situation to them and take more care in putting harmful objects out of your child's reach, things will be better.
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Comments (40)
hektek 11
Forget your neighbors, it's your parenting skills that are questionable, you need to be more vigilant around your kid.
PhoenixChick 26
Well, it could be worse. If they see your child in an ambulance all the time, they might jump to the conclusion that you're an abusive mother. So...at least that's not happening. Weird that the neighborhood all think you're abused but hadn't talked to you about it or checked on you before...
takeittoem 8
Man, F your kid's life!
rvontr88 21
Well maybe you should stop giving your kid shite to choke on.... parenting 101....
Dynosaur_dollie 38
A friend of mine has a son like this which is being treated by a specialist in the children's hospital. This can be caused by a complication with the nose or throat, and really should be seen by a doctor. Since I don't know what you're doing for your sons choking there's really no room for me to judge, unless like some of these other commenters I'd like to make assumptions. Good luck getting your son help and ignore your nosey neighbours. Some people just love the more dramatic romours, rather than the truth.
OhYeahMrKrabz 3
Maybe you should be more concerned about your child choking on everything rather than what your neighbors think.
Random4ever22 17
"My kid just choked on stuff" Hmm. Great way of putting it OP
spicyburrito 18
choking on... deez nuts ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
nyxiny 22
Seriously, you should consider seeing a speech pathologist who can help see if your child is having issues with swallowing for a particular reason and can help them.
sariberii 8
Maybe stop giving your child stuff he can choke on.