Today, I found out everyone in my neighborhood thinks that I'm a beaten woman due to the reoccurring ambulances in front of my house at night. My kid just chokes on everything, and they don't believe me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that our neighbors told almost everyone on our street that I was mentally handicapped. All this time I wasn't sure why they would speak slowly and loudly at me. Now they won't believe me when I tell them I'm a 4.0 GPA student. FML
Today, I had to explain to a hospital social worker that my young son is not abused, he is just rowdy and that he knocked himself unconscious and shattered 4 teeth in a bizarre stunt involving a tree, my ironing board, a mop bucket and lots of duct tape. I'm not sure the hospital believes me. FML
Today, I started shaking my son's Little Bill doll in frustration, as the batteries weren't working. My nosy neighbor saw through the window and called the cops. They wouldn't believe me and now the whole neighborhood thinks I'm a child abuser. FML
Today, I'm incredibly sick. I can't breathe, can't walk ten steps without falling, and no one believes me. My mom just sat next to me and said, "Honey, isn't this all a bit much? Quit being dramatic, because I can't believe this." When I asked why I would fake this, my sister yelled, "Guess you can't go shopping!" I'd want to. FML
Today, I have to deal with being laughed at by my mother and sister, because they keep making sharp movements towards me, causing me to flinch. This is because I got mugged and beaten last night. They think it's hysterical. FML
Today, I found out why people in my new neighborhood keep giving me weird looks. For a laugh, my brother had gone around telling them I'm a parolee, and implying that I couldn't be trusted around their children. FML
Today, I was doing my jazz aerobics workout and accidentally kicked my 3 year old daughter in the face. Everyone we know, including my wife, thinks I beat her. FML
Today, my mother topped someone's story of their child's problems by saying I'm on drugs. This resulted in people showing up to stage an intervention for me. She made the whole thing up and I've never used drugs, but no one believes me. FML
Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML
Today, it's Halloween. I get bullied every day and this was no exception, but this time I got beat up so hard I bled. Everyone thought it was part of my costume. FML
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Top comments
TheFangedDonut 13
Domestic abuse is nothing to CHOKE about
Xobubblyxo 23
It sucks that your neighbors are so quick to judge, but maybe if you explain the situation to them and take more care in putting harmful objects out of your child's reach, things will be better.
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Comments (40)
josiemorehouse 12
OP maybe you should learn the Heimlich maneuver and CPR so you don't have to keep calling the ambulance?
MandieL 27
Aren't ambulance rides really expensive?? If you were to learn abdominal thrusts yourself, you could dislodge whatever your kid is choking on, and then bring them to a doctor. And if it's a constant issue, maybe it's an issue that needs to be addressed by changing the way things are done. It's really not normal for a child to be choking on things so often.
hmarie_xoxo 12
People shouldn't jump to conclusions. Screw them. You shouldn't worry about what people like that think of you.
writerchic85 26
Jeez multiple ambulances because your kid is choking over and over??? Maybe pay more attention to your kid and keep choking hazards away from him.
WinterChild 20
You need to teach your kid to swallow. Wait...
anyoldnamewilldo 23
If your child is choking on non-food items, you need to do a better job childproofing your home. If it is when he is eating, there may be a physiological issue that needs to be addressed. I suggest a good ENT specialist to properly diagnose. As far as the neighbors go, tell them to mind their own damn business.
UhHuhHoney 20
**** what people have to say. You & your family know what's really going on and nobody else deserves an explanation. At the end of the day, people are always going to judge. If you were to explain to them what is really happening they will then judge your parenting skills. It's a never ending cycle.
usnwife 18
So is this FML about what people think of you instead of your child choking all time? The way it is worded came across very wrong to me... Who cares what they think? And how old is your child? Are you not paying attention, does he have a medical condition that makes it hard to eat, or is it a teenager that is just insanely stupid? Either way I think my kid would be way more important than others opinions, and I wouldnt be saying an ambulance was "my kid just chokes on everything" Sorry OP, not saying you deserve it but you dont have my sympathy.
oiler 21
Dont let what other people think effect you...
mds9986 24
Yeah OP shouldn't get choked up on it.
HollyQuinn 21
Wow, I think your kid needs some assistance. Depending on what the items being choked on are. If food, kids needs to chew. If not, time to start monitoring him/her :S
GetRektBro 15
YDI for feeding your child whole cows at a time, or just not moderating how he eats.