Today, I have to deal with being laughed at by my mother and sister, because they keep making sharp movements towards me, causing me to flinch. This is because I got mugged and beaten last night. They think it's hysterical. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at a family dinner, my mother-in-law talked me into showing off some moves that I've learned in martial arts. I gently did a restraining hold on her. She screamed that I was trying to break her wrists, and kept the wounded act up all night, smirking as everyone gave me death glares. FML
Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML
Today, I woke up to my little sister strangling me. My parents accused me of making the red marks on my throat myself to exaggerate how bad it was. She's just "going through a phase", they say, and I'm a bad person for punching her to get her off me. FML
Today, my girlfriend totally emasculated me and made me a laughing stock when we got mugged and, instead of just handing over her purse like the guy said, she took out a stun gun and used it on him while I freaked out and cried. Now all my friends are laughing at me. FML
Today, I received a serious concussion and several stitches to the back of my head. The attacker? My mom. FML
Today, my brother threw a mug at my head and threatened to stab anybody who came at him because I woke him up for school. I called the police after threats were thrown at my mom, who then lied to them and said I overreacted. I'm currently getting the silent treatment from my family. FML
Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML
Today, my mother called me urgently from the kitchen. Thinking she was hurt, I ran to her as fast as possible. She threw a wet cloth at my head and ran away, laughing her face off. FML
Today, it's Halloween. I get bullied every day and this was no exception, but this time I got beat up so hard I bled. Everyone thought it was part of my costume. FML
Today, my little sister was being picked on by some kids. After seeing one push her, I went over to talk to them about how bullying isn't cool and how they need to play nice. They beat me up. I'm 22 years-old and got beat up by a group of 10 year-olds. FML
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Top comments
devildog562 33
Go to the store get a mask, wait until they fall asleep, then wake them up with bright lights and creepy voices.
Acerhawk 24
You should "mug" them and just take all their valuables and hide them
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Comments (114)
Acerhawk 24
You should "mug" them and just take all their valuables and hide them
foxwasalamb 24
"in case of fire, hide all your valuables... in your anus"
foxwasalamb 24
its from a movie yall. euro trip?
ahippienamedrae 10
26, I feel like "giggity" should follow that.
coming back in the future 30
Am I the only one irritated at people saying "ya'll"?
DoomSkuller 28
Y'all* It's a contraction of "you" and "all"
SonyIsGod 13
That is ****** up
llamaslikesoda 21
#63, You should come to Texas.
kmccain 27
@69 Yes.
devildog562 33
Go to the store get a mask, wait until they fall asleep, then wake them up with bright lights and creepy voices.
VolcanoTheDragon 20
And record it. And put it on youtube.
kittyfrozen 19
and OP will probably get beaten up again for being a "burglar" and flinch more... =x
EverestMelting 23
But only if it's funny. Op must execute the plan to it's full potential. There is hilarity to be ensued.
Murilirum 23
I really like the way you think, cookie for you kind sir.
devildog562 33
Hell yes, I was hungry. If only they could get a cookie printer . Perhaps holding a chainsaw oozing a dark blood like substance ? I wouldn't want to box someone with a chainsaw.
annarcheer 19
wait until you've gotten over that tramautic experience then have at it op. I'm sorry :(
5secondsofvvifi 21
Or, get those baby monitors and put them hidden somewhere in their rooms, and watch them. Repeat their every movement back to them, but disguise your voice. Do anything you can to make them paranoid.
ComoEsJuan 24
Really beats me to why they'd do that.
ohSNAPyall 27
They were strapped for jokes.
PSYqualiac 17
Damn Muggles...
soulreaper12296 28
That doesn't work here. Nice try.
burnsky 10
I'm so sorry OP. You're family should be supporting you through this hard time not making it worse.
cheeeksss 29
That's exactly what I thought. My cousin got mugged recently and we all took him out for a nice dinner and a couple drinks to help him feel better. OP's family should be comforting as well.
kirasant 19
I'm sorry OP. Your family sucks, and if they think so little of your feelings, I don't think there's anything you can say to make them stop.
Sandman366 6
Along with the thousands of ass hats who apparently think OP deserves getting laughed at for being nervous after a mugging. I fail to see how any of that can be construed as OP's fault.
WCARlover 35
Usually I try to think of something funny to say but in this case I'm just sorry to hear that happened to you OP :(
nikkipettyfer 24
I'm so sorry, that's very inconsiderate of them!
michaeljc7 3
My family does it to me all the time, but instead of laughing they punch my shoulder really hard, twice.
BntyHntrSeattle 30
Is there anyone else you can go stay with? Find someone. Your relatives sound awful in this situation.
cherry_popper69 11
Idk about taking advice from mozart
JuliusSeizure 18
It's Beethoven you shitehawk.
ckibb97 22
Next time they do it just 'act in self defence'...
sorryheadphones 26
That's horrible, sorry.