Today, I was painting cabinets for the children's area in my church. While painting, I dropped my brush and got black paint on a white part. I tried to wipe it off. Now there's a very visible smudge that looks like a penis. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to clean up after the kid who discovered he could finger paint with his poo. FML
Today, I realized that someone spray painted a giant black cock on the front of my house while I was asleep. I also just recently painted my entire house yellow. Yellow doesn't cover up black penis very well. FML
Today, I finished painting my living room. I had to leave the house in a rush. When I got home, I found smears of paint all around and the carpet crusted with paint that had dried. My cat had rubbed up against the walls and tracked it around. FML
Today, I painted the guest bathroom. Once finished, I noticed the paint splatters on my arms matched my lily white chalky skin. Paint matches me better than my makeup. Guess I need a different paint, and new make up. FML
Today, I found out the hard way that you shouldn't try to open a can of paint with a screwdriver. The lid flew off, and my kitchen floor now looks like an abstract art painting, which I could probably call, "Various blue splodges on wood canvas." FML
Today, as a respected artist, I was running a workshop with a bunch of rowdy college kids. I was in the middle of demonstrating a painting technique when I accidentally washed my paintbrush in my coffee instead of my paint water. They waited until I then drank from it to burst out in hysterics. FML
Today, while I was painting, my little nephew came in and started watching me. I left to clean my brushes. When I came back into the room, my nephew had spilled paint all over the carpet making a rainbow. It took me 5 hours to clean it up. FML
Today, I was painting the bathroom door post. A drop of paint fell on the toilet roll. Guess how I found out. FML
Today, I fell asleep at work and woke up with penis sharpied on my face. I'm a kindergarten teacher. FML
Today, I went to buy some spray paint for a project. I've never used a spray can before, so I decided to try it on paper provided. Unfortunately I didn't hold the can the right way and ended up with black, permanent, paint all over my face in the middle of a store. FML
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Top comments
afulcer 11
Oh that stinks... I hope you can paint over it with white!
zoegirl_455 30
Quick! paint everything black and claim you were influenced by the Rolling Stones
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Comments (108)
afulcer 11
Oh that stinks... I hope you can paint over it with white!
tomwantssnow 14
Would probably take a few layers and end up uneven if he did that...
xThatOneWeirdGuy 18
@16 It's better than having a penis on the the cabinet.
Lavelle1313 11
Well #35 has the right idea...
_parth 20
Once you black you can't go back.
blackman100 20
OP, just hire a kid to pretend like they drew the smudge and you "kick" him out. Then you play it off as if you can't paint over it and turn it into a painting of a flower pot or something.
buckerado 19
Or OP could dip the brush in a trusty ole' can of kerosene and watch that rooster disappear...
Mernfern 7
A whiteout pen would work.
kdm_km1 19
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
If it's a Catholic church they'll love it!
tomwantssnow 14
Extra advertisement for the clergy!
thatnucca 36
Usernames don't get any funnier... PeepeePainter
kinky44 28
I remember getting a comment modded for saying something about abortion, and then this guy gets to freely bash my religion. Way to show a bias, mods.
zoegirl_455 30
Quick! paint everything black and claim you were influenced by the Rolling Stones
perdix 31
#4, isn't that the group who sang "Sympathy for the Devil?" (Yes, it is.) That's not going to be a useful excuse in this context.
8313girl 28
One of my favorite Rolling Stone songs! Though I'm sure OP might get kicked out for that.
horneyhic 15
You might get a free excorcism out of that deal
zoegirl_455 30
#41: that's why you leave out that detail, no need to mention everything
DrippingSarcasm 20
Turn it into a dog.
ChenEighty 20
Because putting a little more black on top will really help the situation how...?
DrippingSarcasm 20
I'm kidding, but I'm sure there's a million ways to turn it into something with both white paint and black. Maybe my mind is too creativity based. But I'm sure OP will fix it somehow with more white or turn it into something. Honestly, jokes aside. It's the "children's area" in the church, they were doing something like a drawing with the black paint.
Robbieisadowg 16
#21 also, a dog is better than a penis....
5destroyer35 20
Wow! This is my big chance to have my relevent and inteligent post be read! Hear we go: *no characters remaining*
AnOriginalName 19
Wow! You're the sixth commenter. I wish I could've been sixth sometime. I was first once, but not sixth.
abhi95 31
Are you both alright? O.o
5destroyer35 20
Are you alright? Your eye is terribly inflamed!
cyttex 13
6, You do realize this isn't Facebook and nobody will give you thumbs up for meaningless comments that have no relation to the topic at hand.
ClassyJJZ 9
*likes your comment for irony* [: But anyway, I feel bad for OP. But I'm pretty sure that even if it's a small penis, one of the priests has seen small penises before (I'm so sorry for making that joke oh god)
AnOriginalName 19
Keep it on topic, #34. This thread is for mocking #6. Speaking of, wanna know why six was afraid of seven? Because seven was a psychotic ************ who got high on bath salts and chewed twenty's face off.
5destroyer35 20
I know right? **** #6. I hate it when I come on here, and some person makes irrelevant comment, irregardless of the topic at hand. Ruins my day.
x_the_lancer_x 13
Oh dear. Get that fixed before a Sunday school class suddenly becomes very awkward.
AnOriginalName 19
Ha. Get it "fixed." I don't think that pun was intentional, but I like puns so I'm making it intentional.
Queen_bee1234 21
That's not a good way to 'raise' attendance.
LarissaT18 18
Windex can take just about anything out. But it can stain so be careful.
tomwantssnow 14
Windex to remove paint? Ooooookay then
dman1997 5
I rarely thumbs down comments, but this one deserved it.
Cas547 8
Paint over it?
x_the_lancer_x 13
No but spraying windex all over it would most likely help lots according to #10.
ClassyJJZ 9
Black wet paint on white dry paint. Think about it.
myusername83 10
Penis surrounded by white...if only a littler section of white could have been done by it. The church would really love you then;) good luck OP!
myusername83 10
Sorry guys my friend got on my account and posted that which is inaccurate to what I would say about this situation, myself. I reported it, and hopefully FML staff will remove it.
myusername83 10
Sorry guys my friend got on my account and posted that which is inaccurate to what I would say about this situation, myself. I reported it, and hopefully FML staff will remove it.