Today, I asked my dad to please shave his awful beard, because I'm a laughing-stock at school for being picked up each day by a guy whose face looks like Bigfoot's ass. He agreed, and 10 minutes later was sporting a pedo-stache. It's going to be a long year. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I noticed that my facial hair had grown by an acceptable amount. I spoke to my Dad and decided to show him, thinking he would approve of my manliness. His exact words when I showed him were, "Nah, son. You just look like a lesbian." FML
Today, I asked my dad to give me a haircut. After 20 minutes of "fuck"s and "shit"s, he gave up and just shaved my head bald. I pull off the look so badly that two people I don't even know have already told me I look like a psychopath. FML
Today, I shaved my face after several months of growth. This would be OK if my 4-year-old daughter would still talk to me. Apparently she doesn't recognise me, and I'm scary. FML
Today, my mom told me that I need to shave my beard because it's getting too long. This wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact that I'm a woman. FML
Today, I found out what people really think about the beard I've been proudly growing for over a month. It appears that my face now looks like an unshaven ballsack. FML
Today, I had to beg my husband not to shave his pubic hair into a handlebar moustache. FML
Today, I went to pick up my daughter from my dad's house. He'd shaved her head bald. "For a laugh." FML
Today, I had to meet my mother. Being a college student, I decided I was too lazy to shave this morning. She noticed the stubble on my face, and started crying because I'm growing up. I'm 23 years-old. My dad yelled at me for making my mom cry. FML
Today, I finally told my boyfriend I have a medical condition that makes me grow an unusual amount of hair on my face, so I shave every day. He said he was leaving me because he refuses to be with a "bearded lady". FML
Today, four days after making a $100 bet with my balding, pedo-stache wearing dad over who could get a girlfriend first, he came home and introduced me to his new girlfriend. FML
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Top comments
unidentifieduser 23
Your dad is parenting the right way.
RustlingSoul 26
Is your dad screwing with you? If so, your dad's awesome!
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Comments (133)
GrimShade 3
idk if im wrong or not, but id probably be more pissed at the students, and stand up for my dad...
berkeleyjake 13
never tell a man to shave his beard, you are a horrible person
chrishaaansen 13
shut your biatch ass up! no one tells a man to shave his beard, it's the source of all his knowledge and masculinity!
Mr_Saikaly 35
you don't have the right to ask him to shave it
graphicstyle7 17
The sooner you stop worrying so much about what other people think, the cooler you will be. The cooler you will be, the happier you will be. Why? Because you don't waste your time thinking you can read people's minds, and then fretting about it and bugging other people to conform to your fears.
superspooky 13
Your dad can do whatever he wants with his facial hair. don't like it? Then take the bus, walk, or get a ride with someone else. Time to grow up and not let petty high school shit bug you.
siggy_mcsigx 22
Give it a few years and all you lads will be worshiping the beards.
kalbrek009 20
Sure it's not a "****" stash? Many kids these days get the two confused...lol
shanannygians07 28
I'm sure it is a **** stache
i8cake 12
I hope you soon look back and appreciate the fact that your dad was there to take and pick you up from school! Unlike theirs or mine for that matter
SBurrke 11
Why the **** do you care how your dad looks in front of your friends? Those people who make fun of him can suck it, let him do what he wants.