maybe?
Hamburg, Germany
Today, at a paintball match, my boyfriend shot me between the legs and asked, "Still want kids now?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
LagSwitchFTW
United Kingdom
Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML
Anonymous
Commack, United States
Today, I went paintballing with my girlfriend and her family. Her dad ended up shooting me, and I doubled over in pain. I thought that was it, until he stepped back and shot me several more times in the stomach. "Just double-tapping," he smirked. More like quadruple-tapping. FML
CatLady
San Francisco, United States
Today, I brought up the subject of marriage with my boyfriend. His response was to shoot me with a nerf gun and laugh. FML
iusedprotectionanyway
Waitakere, New Zealand
Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML
sore
Australia
Today, I was paintballing when I got shot in the stomach and winded. As I was gasping for breath on the ground, someone came up and shot me point blank in my crotch. FML
walllflower
Saint Catharines, Canada
Today, I went paintballing with my siblings. Once we were done, they realised I hadn't been shot at all. They cornered me in the forest and lit me up. I have welts all over my legs. FML
Anonymous
Ballshot
Today, I shot my boyfriend in the balls by mistake, twice. First it was a paintball gun I was using with my nephew, then it was a slingshot I use to scare away the bird who keeps eating fish from my pond. He is now sat icing his groin acting like I did it on purpose. FML
Z
Australia
Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML
Anonymous
Today, I went paint-balling with my girlfriend. As we drove she was scared about getting shot a lot, especially in the head. I reassured her that with all the protective gear it was unlikely. First round, within a minute, she gets shot 3 times in the back of the head. FML
AquaRevolver
New Zealand
Today, me and my girlfriend went paintballing. I made sure we were on the same team, so I could protect her and be manly. The first time she got shot was by me, I shot her finger. It broke. FML
Top comments
CreamGravy 36
I hope the answer is, "Yes, but with someone else"
Welshite 40
Unload your clip at his crotch. Fair is fair.
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Comments (107)
theramster 9
Do you?
rocketgurl 15
That's not how you birth control
calebmo 7
You think she's goin to have sex with him after that? This birth control better then Hawaiian Shirt.
Welshite 40
Unload your clip at his crotch. Fair is fair.
devildog562 33
Funny how she'll be giving his replacement balls while destroying the original.
Welshite 40
Nothing wrong with replacement balls. You can change them out for the holidays: eggs for Easter and jingle bells for Christmas. And then you just hang brass balls the rest of the year to demonstrate your confidence.
devildog562 33
I always prefer the stress balls. It makes me feel so relaxed after they get played with .
Badkarma4u 17
Bad advice. A man getting shot in the groin wity a paintball sounds hilarious, right up until the trip to the hospital and emergency surgery
devildog562 33
No shit it hurts. Just like a shot into a woman's ******.
Retaheki 27
They aren't naked. (Are they?)
devildog562 33
Does it not hurt to have a high velocity, force hit you in the balls with pants on? Say like someone kicking you testicles? Same thing with women with their pelvic bone and sensitive parts in between the legs.
homesuckfucker 28
As someone with a ******, I can confirm that a hit to that region can be EXCRUCIATING. I tried to balance on a metal beam and slipped. Hi, I love oven and crumpled to the ground like they do in cartoons.
SystemofaBlink41 27
"Love Oven" Anyone else wanna sign a petition to replace the word '******' with this?
luststarrr 22
I second that motion - where do I sign?
Brandi_Faith 34
First off, 46, thank you for being a man that understands that a woman getting hit there hurts like crazy! And 47, I totally cringed and squeezed my legs together when I read that!! My friend in elementary school did the exact same thing. She was walking on a bike rack, slipped and landed with her legs open on the bar, she ended up having to go to the hospital to get checked out. She was bruised for the longest time and that image will forever be burned into my brain!
Retaheki 27
I want to sign the petition, show me the paperwork!
UnidentifiedFun 37
As the author of a certain kayak FML, I can attest to this.
sturschaedel 27
I was learning how to ride a bike when I got faster than I was able to control and I rode against a knee-high wall with a fence on top. I was hanging off the fence and hit my love oven* on the bike frame. It was green, blue and purple for weeks and I eventually learned to ride a bike a year later, because I wouldn't get near one earlier *Yes, I'm a fan of the expression!
onlychildFTW 34
If I was to play paintball Id wear a jock and a cup. Haha. Don't want to risk getting mr. Peepee and the twins hurt.
Greenteamextreme 16
Rainbow children :)
fsomelife 26
Like skittles, but much more annoying
Miss_Chevious 37
taste the rainbow :D
countryb_cth 38
I can just imagine it now "Jimmy stop licking your brother!!!" "But Maaa the comercial said taste the rainbow!"
Cbethkid 15
I would've said, "You tell me! " Then shot him in the balls.
cocainewhore 30
Your boyfriend is an asshole. If someone did that to me, I honestly wouldn't stay with them. It was rude and insensitive of him, I'm not saying dump him, but you should talk to him about things that are ok and things that aren't.
tdawg91 17
Agreed. Boundaries were crossed on this day
Adamfuzzyballs 7
Heres the thing... OP did not say her bf did it on purpose. given the benefit of the doubt he could have done it mid match and joked afterward. it doesn't necessarily have to be an instance of cruelty from him.
CreamGravy 36
I hope the answer is, "Yes, but with someone else"
xwingtwo 15
Exactly what I was thinking!
baxwar 15
Oh come on that's not even break up worthy
KamiyaHaine 18
Don't see how wanting different things in life is not breakup worthy.
game0ver_fml 18
Maybe not break up worthy... but still funny. After a stunt like that... serves him right.
gearhead369 20
Should've got him back, would hurt him more. Sorry, OP
_mocha1_ 10
*shoots him back in the same place* "HOW ABOUT NOW, DO YOU! "
llalala_fml 19
Yeah, kinda like "you're right, I don't anymore, let me make sure of that" Shot right to the balls
UH60 26
Wow. If that were me, someone wouldn't be getting sex for awhile.
nitrog100 21
Welcome to my universe.