Today, I asked my dad to please shave his awful beard, because I'm a laughing-stock at school for being picked up each day by a guy whose face looks like Bigfoot's ass. He agreed, and 10 minutes later was sporting a pedo-stache. It's going to be a long year. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I noticed that my facial hair had grown by an acceptable amount. I spoke to my Dad and decided to show him, thinking he would approve of my manliness. His exact words when I showed him were, "Nah, son. You just look like a lesbian." FML
Today, I asked my dad to give me a haircut. After 20 minutes of "fuck"s and "shit"s, he gave up and just shaved my head bald. I pull off the look so badly that two people I don't even know have already told me I look like a psychopath. FML
Today, I shaved my face after several months of growth. This would be OK if my 4-year-old daughter would still talk to me. Apparently she doesn't recognise me, and I'm scary. FML
Today, my mom told me that I need to shave my beard because it's getting too long. This wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact that I'm a woman. FML
Today, I found out what people really think about the beard I've been proudly growing for over a month. It appears that my face now looks like an unshaven ballsack. FML
Today, I had to beg my husband not to shave his pubic hair into a handlebar moustache. FML
Today, I went to pick up my daughter from my dad's house. He'd shaved her head bald. "For a laugh." FML
Today, I had to meet my mother. Being a college student, I decided I was too lazy to shave this morning. She noticed the stubble on my face, and started crying because I'm growing up. I'm 23 years-old. My dad yelled at me for making my mom cry. FML
Today, I finally told my boyfriend I have a medical condition that makes me grow an unusual amount of hair on my face, so I shave every day. He said he was leaving me because he refuses to be with a "bearded lady". FML
Today, four days after making a $100 bet with my balding, pedo-stache wearing dad over who could get a girlfriend first, he came home and introduced me to his new girlfriend. FML
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Top comments
unidentifieduser 23
Your dad is parenting the right way.
RustlingSoul 26
Is your dad screwing with you? If so, your dad's awesome!
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Comments (133)
AlyssaDiannaa 20
I love that he doesn't really seem to give a shit about shaving as long as he can keep f-ing with OP! Good luck with this year
angelbless 3
that's awesome..wait til you have kids..u will understand
JOFreeman 13
Hahahahhha. Hilarious!! Made my day. Sorry for you:-))