Today, I shaved my face after several months of growth. This would be OK if my 4-year-old daughter would still talk to me. Apparently she doesn't recognise me, and I'm scary. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's been a while since I tried the "shave-your-beard to see if your baby recognises you afterwards" trick. I wasn’t expecting her to start crying, real heartbreaking tears. The beard's now grown back but she still cries and screams whenever she sees me, and we don’t know what to do. I think traumatised my daughter. FML
Today, I arrived home, having just had my long hair cut and my beard shaved. My idiot daughter’s reaction when she saw me? “Who are you and how did you get in the house?” FML
Today, my 5-year-old daughter sobbed inconsolably on my return home from a several-month long deployment to the Middle East. I was touched by her reaction until she blurted out that she wasn't crying because she missed me, but because my shaved head looked scary ugly. FML
Today, I had to meet my mother. Being a college student, I decided I was too lazy to shave this morning. She noticed the stubble on my face, and started crying because I'm growing up. I'm 23 years-old. My dad yelled at me for making my mom cry. FML
Today, I asked my dad to please shave his awful beard, because I'm a laughing-stock at school for being picked up each day by a guy whose face looks like Bigfoot's ass. He agreed, and 10 minutes later was sporting a pedo-stache. It's going to be a long year. FML
Today, I got my long hair cut in a short pixie cut. When my five year old daughter saw me she laughed and proclaimed 'You look just like a man!'. That afternoon I got a concerned call from the school. My daughter has told everyone 'mummy has gone away, I now have two daddies!' FML
Today, I noticed that my facial hair had grown by an acceptable amount. I spoke to my Dad and decided to show him, thinking he would approve of my manliness. His exact words when I showed him were, "Nah, son. You just look like a lesbian." FML
Today, I went to pick up my daughter from my dad's house. He'd shaved her head bald. "For a laugh." FML
Today, my 4-year-old son cut half of my hair when I was asleep because he thought I would look better that way. FML
Today, a 4 year-old saw me and started crying and screaming like heck. I mean, I knew that I didn't look good, but this is too much. FML
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Top comments
IvyOswin 17
At least now you know that she won't talk to strangers!
epicRawrz 16
That's why you got to do the whole 'shave with daddy' thing and let her watch you.
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Comments (83)
IvyOswin 17
At least now you know that she won't talk to strangers!
michaelaranda 28
But OP probably doesnt see it this way. OP, if you are a single parent, you are probably screwed. But if you arent, use your wife/ husband if ur gay to explain to your daughter that its just you and that its just hair that can grow back.
caohm 18
the ultimate game of peek a boo. she has no idea where Dad went or why this beardless man is now living with her.
LindsayxMoore 18
next time let her watch you shave so she knows its you. but hey she knows stranger danger lol.
TheCanucklehead 22
She's the opposite of the fear the beard moniker. She's more mean is clean and from woven to shaven
AculyAmber 12
The same thing happened to me when I was little, I didn't recognize my dad when he shaved! It didn't take too long to figure out, and no psychological scars were made!
UO88 10
Just wanted to point out that kids are taught wrong out who to be cautious around. Teaching stranger danger is technically a bad idea as most likely if someone were to harm and or abduct a child it is someone the child know, like a family member. While it does happen with strangers, I don't think it's quite as often.
TwistedCherub1 15
This happened to me with my grandfather when I was 4. No amount of everyone saying it was him would get me to relax. But don't worry, OP, eventually she'll come around; no physical change could hide my papa from me & your little girl will recognize her daddy soon enough.
azwethinkweiz87 11
This same thing happened with me and my Dad when I was quite little. He always had a moustache and suddenly he shaved it off one day. I wouldn't talk to him and told him he "wasn't my Daddy anymore" lol. I huffed for a couple days over it!
UO88 10
Again , can someone please explain to me why my comment was down voted?
epicRawrz 16
That's why you got to do the whole 'shave with daddy' thing and let her watch you.
peacejunior 12
But what if she actually tried shaving her face with a razor?
thewoodrow 7
Tried that when I was little. Saw dad doing it, tried it on my own. Ended up slicing my upper lip. Lesson learned.
jw90 18
In her case shave with mommy.
sheishannah 16
My dad had done this exact thing when I was about 4 and I didn't know who he was
MooseKnuckle5150 13
I've done this to all of my kids at one point or another. Nothing like some harmless trauma.
joawmeens 7
I remember when I was a kid, and my dad shaved his head for the first time. I was terrified, until he put his hat on. Then I was like "oh yeah, it's THAT guy!" Man, I was a dumb kid....
IworkAt711 14
My dad shaved off his moustache once when I was 4 and it was hard for me to recognize him. Small children just don't notice as many details as teens/adults.
EnterSandman_fml 20
Fear the beard. Thank you, I now know that my beard will scare children away. Never shaving again lol.
doodlecloud 27
In this case, the problem is the LACK of beard...
happylappy 21
And that fixes the problem how?
LaLince 40
You have very long play-offs in Australia.
TheDrifter 24
I don't think they get it eh?
QueenSaru 28
Aw, don't worry, it happens. My dad's had a beard my whole life, and one time when I was a teenager he came home clean shaven because his barber had goofed, and I was pretty much like, "O_______O No. Grow it back." XD
BntyHntrSeattle 30
This would be hilarious if you were a mom.
ticktockbaboom 6
If she doesn't recognize you without a beard, you should probably shave more often
quanito1013 6
Stranger Danger
Gingerette 8
I can relate with OP's daughter's feelings. My dad always has a beard, until he doesn't, and then I cannot look at him without feeling strange. It's a lot like looking at a stranger.