Today, at my job at my tattoo parlor, yet another client offered to pay for his tattoo by "letting" me sleep with him. This client happens to be my boyfriend's best friend, whose girlfriend is having me tattoo his name on her wrist next week. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML
Today, my boyfriend confessed to me that the only reason he's with me is because I'm a good tattoo artist and he's too broke to pay for his own tattoos. We've been together for two years. FML
Today, I got a tattoo with my boyfriend's name on it. As we're coworkers, I showed it to him thinking he’d love it. He told me he couldn’t continue the relationship anymore since he realized he wants to fix things with his wife. Three hours of pain and 2 years down the drain. FML
Today, I got my first tattoo. It was a surprise for my fiancé: our names together over a heart. I went home but before I could show him, he said we had to have a "talk." So now my ex's name is tattooed on my back. The kicker? Turns out I'm allergic to the ink. FML
Today, I got piss drunk. Being a tattoo artist, I came to the intoxicated conclusion that I could save much more money doing my own tattoos on myself. I now have my ex-boyfriend's name permanently on my thigh. It's not even spelled right. FML
Today on my birthday, my wife thought it would be a good idea to get matching tattoos. Our tattoo artist happened to be her ex-boyfriend. I sat and listened to them talk about their relationship and how they should stay in touch. FML
Today, my tattoo artist boyfriend of five months gave me my first tattoo in celebration of my 18th birthday. It was supposed to be a heart with my name in script. He spelled my name wrong. FML
Today, I went out drinking with my tattoo artist brother-in-law. I was so wasted that I agreed to let him try working on me. I woke up with a tattoo of an animated marijuana plant smoking a cigarette. This'll look just great when I'm defending clients in court. FML
Today, I was talking to my tattoo artist about how my girlfriend broke up with me. She had also gotten her tattoos from him, so they had talked quite a bit. He told me she had been cheating on me with her ex for two and a half months. He didn't tell me because he didn't want to lose business. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me for the tattoo artist who gave us our matching "love" tattoos. FML
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Top comments
RedFox12 7
Tattoo a penis on him.
emeraldisle 30
Looks like he won't be her boyfriend for very long. What an arsehole.
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Comments (135)
katiesam199 11
Just say if there's no pay he can't stay and warn the girlfriend because removing tattoos can be very painful, I doubt she would still want to brand his name into her skin if she knew what an asshole he is.
kiswani_anas 4
I think you should say something
FrankHotpants 31
2 people you never **** with. Tattoo artist and people who handle your food.
asherm 15
And health care workers
jmcr 27
Tell your bf and his gf both should go kick his ass and put a tattoo on his back "WARNING: MAY CONTRACT STD WHEN SLEEPING WITH ME" just above his dick
katiesam199 11
On his back and also just above his dick... Makes sense
perdix 31
Unless he is exceptionally hot and you are hideous, this transaction is of zero value. Women who are ordinary or better can pay for things with sex -- that's just one of those double-standards.
Pesticides 19
A free tattoo AND getting laid, well he would have lucked out on that one
AnnaMariaMc 8
Don't do that to her! Be a good friend and don't tattoo her boyfriend's name on her!
laughmaster 9
Tell her no, and kindly explain what he said, and tell your boyfriend, hopefully he's level headed
HKCgrimmjow 15
No doubt this will cause a backlash but I honestly think it's not a smart idea to have your partners name tattooed on you unless you've been together for a really really long time or you have kids together
UnluckyGenius 21
Should have tatted "I am a classless bastard" on him.