Today, at my job at my tattoo parlor, yet another client offered to pay for his tattoo by "letting" me sleep with him. This client happens to be my boyfriend's best friend, whose girlfriend is having me tattoo his name on her wrist next week. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML
Today, my boyfriend confessed to me that the only reason he's with me is because I'm a good tattoo artist and he's too broke to pay for his own tattoos. We've been together for two years. FML
Today, I got a tattoo with my boyfriend's name on it. As we're coworkers, I showed it to him thinking he’d love it. He told me he couldn’t continue the relationship anymore since he realized he wants to fix things with his wife. Three hours of pain and 2 years down the drain. FML
Today, I got my first tattoo. It was a surprise for my fiancé: our names together over a heart. I went home but before I could show him, he said we had to have a "talk." So now my ex's name is tattooed on my back. The kicker? Turns out I'm allergic to the ink. FML
Today, I got piss drunk. Being a tattoo artist, I came to the intoxicated conclusion that I could save much more money doing my own tattoos on myself. I now have my ex-boyfriend's name permanently on my thigh. It's not even spelled right. FML
Today on my birthday, my wife thought it would be a good idea to get matching tattoos. Our tattoo artist happened to be her ex-boyfriend. I sat and listened to them talk about their relationship and how they should stay in touch. FML
Today, my tattoo artist boyfriend of five months gave me my first tattoo in celebration of my 18th birthday. It was supposed to be a heart with my name in script. He spelled my name wrong. FML
Today, I went out drinking with my tattoo artist brother-in-law. I was so wasted that I agreed to let him try working on me. I woke up with a tattoo of an animated marijuana plant smoking a cigarette. This'll look just great when I'm defending clients in court. FML
Today, I was talking to my tattoo artist about how my girlfriend broke up with me. She had also gotten her tattoos from him, so they had talked quite a bit. He told me she had been cheating on me with her ex for two and a half months. He didn't tell me because he didn't want to lose business. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me for the tattoo artist who gave us our matching "love" tattoos. FML
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Top comments
RedFox12 7
Tattoo a penis on him.
emeraldisle 30
Looks like he won't be her boyfriend for very long. What an arsehole.
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Comments (135)
buckdharma 38
Schedule his appointment before his girl's. Go to the police and tell them you have a male soliciting you for sex for services rendered. Record him as evidence and get him busted for prostitution, cause he a hoe.
lennelleong 33
Just a pre-empt: Instead of being thankful, people can shoot the messenger when there is bad news. More likely the guy will try to protest that he was only joking and that OP was a tattle-tale who's taking what he said all too seriously. I've been in this situation before. Even if the girl friend believes the OP over her bf, it will still make for awkward meets thereafter! But i guess, conscience calls.
oddball1972 10
Never EVER tattoo gf/bf ..... Husband/ wife name on yourself Kids are ok
BlackBlazeCobra 16
Tell her that and save her before she regrets it!
Martinez0285 28
tattooing a significant others name anywhere on your body is total bad luck ..
imagineapc 11
The first rule of tattoos is you don't get a significant other's name tattooed on your body. Even if you're married, you don't get a significant other's name tattooed on your body.
AzWolf 5
Pass the word, sista!
CallMeMcFeelii 14
It's not smart to get any of your lovers' names tattooed on you. They may not be your lover for very long.
Maygen 5
Even if you're strapped for cash you shouldn't do it. Like you said, no respectable artist should tattoo another's name. Boyfriends/girlfriends change and people divorce. It's also really dumb for OPs friend to want to do it in the first place.
XxcaitanatorXx 12
what an asshole hope you said no
Zomg_Okay 27
It wouldn't be on FML if OP had decided to throw herself at him.
VeganVampyre 27
Today, someone offered to "let" me have sex with him as payment for his tattoo. He is my boyfriend's best friend, so of course I said yes. FML I dunno, not really feeling it somehow...