Today, I caught my mom eating cat biscuits. We don't have a cat. FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom came home drunk and yelled at me for 20 minutes for not feeding the cat. We don't have a cat. FML
Today, my mom decided to only speak to me through our pet cat. FML
Today, my mother talked shit about me to the cat while I was in the room. FML
Today, I helped myself to some homemade biscuits that had been left in the kitchen. I thought they looked a little odd, but they tasted pretty good. I found out later they were homemade dog treats. FML
Today, on the kitchen counter, there was a plate that had snacks on it. I decided to take a bite. I spat it out. Later on, my mother told me it was dog food. FML
Today, I once again walked in on my husband eating our cat's food. FML
Today, I learned that instead of spending Christmas alone with my cat, enjoying chicken quesadillas and a tin of tuna while watching only the best cartoons, my mother's coming over. FML
Today, my mom cooked her dog some potatoes, carrots, beef, rice and peas. She cooks better food for her dog than she will for our family. FML
Today, my mom called me an attention seeker and threw a bitch fit because my cat "decided" to die on her birthday. FML
Today, my mom found a pack of cigarettes in my pocket. She hates smoking, so she tore every single cigarette to pieces, then emptied a bag of kitty litter on them. On my bed. FML
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Top comments
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
By "cat biscuits," do you mean those biscuit treats you feed cats or actual biscuits made of cats? The second item would explain why you don't have a cat, among other animals/objects. Either way, make sure to get your mom spayed and/or neutered.
kamikrazy 6
Now you do...
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Comments (126)
Rosa_La_Hermosa 5
Because that's a foolproof way to relax.
Doortje 30
Maybe she wants to be a cat? I've heard that if you eat enough of them eventually you'll turn into a cat.
amerwin 3
At least she wasn't eating limp biscuits.
TrimKibbles 12
was this a subtle hint at the band? if so, good for you sir! nice pun.
HappinessForFree 3
Don't knock it until you try it! But honestly, I can't see this affecting your life.
meowmeowwkitty 0
#18 - "Don't knock it till you try it" LMAO not something I really want to try... haha and would affect her/his life if it causes the mother sudden death... or if she's sneaking the biscuits into dinner
HappinessForFree 3
I was kidding, sunshine :) And I don't think cat biscuits will cause death. I'm sorry but that was a rather dumb thing to say. Also, nowhere does this FML say that the mother is sneaking cat biscuit crumbs into their dinner, nor would that affect OP's life. Don't reply when you have nothing useful to say. :)
thatonename 7
that may have been o e of the nicest put-downs ever. it made me :)
nynjapyrate 0
bahaha 33 I love how u sneak the smileys in. it's a whole new level of smart ass. makes me giggle
hahayousucks 3
someone had to feed the pussy.
Darkness_Hate 29
Maybe she thinks shes CATwoman....
jimbob13 0
dead.
Po1ntBlank 0
good movie
emodude44 0
Ewww! Everyone knows goldfish food is where its at!
meowmeowwkitty 0
booooooooo!!! lame comment...
RedPillSucks 33
Is your mom Halle Berry? Cause she was wearing the hell out of that catwoman suit. I'd give her my biscuit to munch on....
Undine36 2
it's a free country. Let her eat what she wants, at least it's not from the can;)