Today, I caught my mom eating cat biscuits. We don't have a cat. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom came home drunk and yelled at me for 20 minutes for not feeding the cat. We don't have a cat. FML
Today, my mom decided to only speak to me through our pet cat. FML
Today, my mother talked shit about me to the cat while I was in the room. FML
Today, I helped myself to some homemade biscuits that had been left in the kitchen. I thought they looked a little odd, but they tasted pretty good. I found out later they were homemade dog treats. FML
Today, on the kitchen counter, there was a plate that had snacks on it. I decided to take a bite. I spat it out. Later on, my mother told me it was dog food. FML
Today, I once again walked in on my husband eating our cat's food. FML
Today, I learned that instead of spending Christmas alone with my cat, enjoying chicken quesadillas and a tin of tuna while watching only the best cartoons, my mother's coming over. FML
Today, my mom cooked her dog some potatoes, carrots, beef, rice and peas. She cooks better food for her dog than she will for our family. FML
Today, my mom called me an attention seeker and threw a bitch fit because my cat "decided" to die on her birthday. FML
Today, my mom found a pack of cigarettes in my pocket. She hates smoking, so she tore every single cigarette to pieces, then emptied a bag of kitty litter on them. On my bed. FML
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Top comments
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
By "cat biscuits," do you mean those biscuit treats you feed cats or actual biscuits made of cats? The second item would explain why you don't have a cat, among other animals/objects. Either way, make sure to get your mom spayed and/or neutered.
kamikrazy 6
Now you do...
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Comments (126)
coryadam23 0
I guess Scooby Snacks work on Mom's too =D
LemonStarship 5
LEGIT
KingDingALing 9
I applaude Robin for beating you to the joke, Doc. You've been hogging the QDB since the start! It's time for a change!
blahblahblah5_x 13
Why on earth..
NeverShoutHaylee 0
She could go on "My Strange Addiction". Don't you get money for being on there?
Calyx_fml 22
I heard your mom likes eating pussy, not pussy food. Maybe misunderstood.
i_love_grrr 0
wtf? lol gross
tona01 16
it was a joke
jewels1877 0
Don't be concerned if she hops up on the tables and starts cleaning her privates.. Juss saying.
ashrandom 0
It's time they feature her on 'My Strange Addiction'.
catatonicsleep 17
Don't think we have it yet... but when they do a UK version...