Today, I caught my mom eating cat biscuits. We don't have a cat. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom came home drunk and yelled at me for 20 minutes for not feeding the cat. We don't have a cat. FML
Today, my mom decided to only speak to me through our pet cat. FML
Today, my mother talked shit about me to the cat while I was in the room. FML
Today, I helped myself to some homemade biscuits that had been left in the kitchen. I thought they looked a little odd, but they tasted pretty good. I found out later they were homemade dog treats. FML
Today, on the kitchen counter, there was a plate that had snacks on it. I decided to take a bite. I spat it out. Later on, my mother told me it was dog food. FML
Today, I once again walked in on my husband eating our cat's food. FML
Today, I learned that instead of spending Christmas alone with my cat, enjoying chicken quesadillas and a tin of tuna while watching only the best cartoons, my mother's coming over. FML
Today, my mom cooked her dog some potatoes, carrots, beef, rice and peas. She cooks better food for her dog than she will for our family. FML
Today, my mom called me an attention seeker and threw a bitch fit because my cat "decided" to die on her birthday. FML
Today, my mom found a pack of cigarettes in my pocket. She hates smoking, so she tore every single cigarette to pieces, then emptied a bag of kitty litter on them. On my bed. FML
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Top comments
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
By "cat biscuits," do you mean those biscuit treats you feed cats or actual biscuits made of cats? The second item would explain why you don't have a cat, among other animals/objects. Either way, make sure to get your mom spayed and/or neutered.
kamikrazy 6
Now you do...
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Comments (126)
Vo0 0
I am actually going to lose the plot with FML if it doesn't stop moderating fmls to cater for Americans...this says they're from Derby but 'MOM' is the spelling? So ******* annoying.
Sirin_fml 47
The FML exactly as it was worded when submitted. You may want to read up on Americanisms, and of course tourism and immigration.
elainelovesyou 7
Well.. apparently you have a cat now, then. /:
barb_pointe 0
Some people are just... obnoxious. Seriously, how does she deserve this?
LJgirl15 0
2 words... RUN AWAY
t3hk4d3 0
OP-kinda makes you wonder about all those "missing cat" posters in your neighborhood...and then you begin to wonder why your mom was so eager to have you taste all those "new" recipes!!!
DKjazz 20
However, Taco Bell uses grade D meat, whereas the standard for pet food is grade C. Also, Jack in the Box is owned by Purina cat chow, which explains their tacos.
angel55033 12
some animal treats are bakery special for animals and humans. still is ****** up lol
spring_brother 0
in my country,cat's food is luxury for cat or it's feeder .most of the cat here just eat mixed food just like what we daily eat . Actually , food cat eat is more expensive than what we eat (I live in a medium city in china, life i live is comfortable :) , so i think it doesn't
mrssheldoncooper 0
Uhhh...your mom isn't an alcoholic or a druggie or something...right? :/
yesiyes 0
hater! Jack in the Box tacos are ******* delicious!you trippin' your face b rippin'!