Today, I got caught trying to steal my own cat back from my neighbor. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found my lost cat. As I was hooking it up to a leash to get it in my car, a man approached and asked what I was doing. His kids alerted him that there was a woman stealing their cat from their front lawn. It was not my cat. FML
Today, I witnessed my psycho neighbor put her cat in a cage, cross into my backyard, and set the cage down before returning to her house. She then called the cops and claimed I'd stolen her cat. The cops didn't believe my side of the story for a second. FML
Today, I ran over my neighbors' cat. I didn't want it to look like I killed it, so I put it under my other neighbor's car so it would look like they ran over it. The cat's owners were watching me. FML
Today, my cat somehow managed to lock me out of my apartment by jumping on the doorknob while I was taking the trash out. I had to call a locksmith, and now it's like my cat won't even come near at me, like I betrayed him for allowing a stranger into our home. FML
Today, I caught and kicked a shoplifter out of my store. The shoplifter was my mom. FML
Today, my elderly neighbor called the police because my cat was in her yard. I now have a citation and a court date. Apparently, there is a leash law for cats in my town, and it is taken very seriously. FML
Today, my dog ran away. Luckily my neighbors caught him before he got too far. Now they won't give him back because they think I did something to him to make him want to run away. FML
Today, I found out that my cat, that I've had for 3 years, is actually my neighbor's missing cat. FML
Today, my "friend" came over. I caught him trying to steal my iPod on the way out. Proud of myself for catching him, I asked him to leave, only to realize that I had forgotten to actually take the iPod back from him before he left. FML
Today, my cat brought me a “gift” by dragging in a sock from my neighbor’s porch. It was a child's sock. I took it back to them, but I'm pretty sure the neighbor now thinks I steal clothes. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Nikki_ASW 0
If it's your cat how is it stealing?
Jvr91 8
Shit got real
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (149)
linstar 13
So, who ended up with the cat?
Livinia 11
Well of it's your cat, then there's no reason to 'get caught', unless there's another side to the story.
Livinia 11
*if
jamila123 5
Cats don't have owners. They use people for food.
laden_swallow09 35
Either that, or they develop Stockholm Syndrome. No in-betweeners. Evil, cats. Gotta break 'em while they're young.
liy223 6
So technically you weren't stealing, but simply reclaiming what was yours in the first place. Question: of all the things to steal, why take a persons cat??? I mean how bored do you have to be.
bizarre_ftw 22
Hey my cat went to my neighbor a while back, it intentionally ran away and got itself adopted (not my fault the thing had too many babies then decided the house was too crowed)
alyssa0 4
that would be really awkward. lol.
techweed 12
Who caught you??
Inspired22 11
Since you can like...buy, sell, adopt, etc. cats and all that good stuff, couldn't you technically prove the cat as yours and report him/her as stolen property?
ajbaby311 5
Meow
wordnerd42 0
Rawr.
koe4 0
squirtle squirtle
corrinaswan 0
First it's not stealing if it's yours second maybe you should ask for it back and if tht doesnt work report it
MarcosFTW 0
Just put cat food outside the house...it'll be back