Today, I got caught trying to steal my own cat back from my neighbor. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found my lost cat. As I was hooking it up to a leash to get it in my car, a man approached and asked what I was doing. His kids alerted him that there was a woman stealing their cat from their front lawn. It was not my cat. FML
Today, I witnessed my psycho neighbor put her cat in a cage, cross into my backyard, and set the cage down before returning to her house. She then called the cops and claimed I'd stolen her cat. The cops didn't believe my side of the story for a second. FML
Today, I ran over my neighbors' cat. I didn't want it to look like I killed it, so I put it under my other neighbor's car so it would look like they ran over it. The cat's owners were watching me. FML
Today, my cat somehow managed to lock me out of my apartment by jumping on the doorknob while I was taking the trash out. I had to call a locksmith, and now it's like my cat won't even come near at me, like I betrayed him for allowing a stranger into our home. FML
Today, I caught and kicked a shoplifter out of my store. The shoplifter was my mom. FML
Today, my elderly neighbor called the police because my cat was in her yard. I now have a citation and a court date. Apparently, there is a leash law for cats in my town, and it is taken very seriously. FML
Today, my dog ran away. Luckily my neighbors caught him before he got too far. Now they won't give him back because they think I did something to him to make him want to run away. FML
Today, I found out that my cat, that I've had for 3 years, is actually my neighbor's missing cat. FML
Today, my "friend" came over. I caught him trying to steal my iPod on the way out. Proud of myself for catching him, I asked him to leave, only to realize that I had forgotten to actually take the iPod back from him before he left. FML
Today, my cat brought me a “gift” by dragging in a sock from my neighbor’s porch. It was a child's sock. I took it back to them, but I'm pretty sure the neighbor now thinks I steal clothes. FML
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Top comments
Nikki_ASW 0
If it's your cat how is it stealing?
Jvr91 8
Shit got real
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Comments (149)
cherrylover88 4
hahaha thats hella funny
Cigar 11
If your neighbor truly stole your cat, surely there was a reason. Do you leave him/her outside when it's hot/cold/raining/etc.? Are the cat's ears, nose, eyes and fur clean? Is he/she fixed and UTD on vaccinations? I took a neighbor's cat to have him neutered. They let him breed with his sister and 2 of the kittens died.. they barely noticed that he wasn't around while he healed with me. Fortunately the city has a TNR [trap neuter release] program that vaccinated him and gave 'em the snip for free. The ignorant owners were none the wiser when he suddenly came home. I hope it curbed his scrapping, too. He's a gorgeous, affectionate animal that anyone with half a brain would treasure.
kenjames 4
He didn't want you stealing his pussy. It's a man thing.
tom_es 3
I can give you my 2 cats...call me and I will have them delivered
DrFuzzyNuts 0
**** that ill kill a bitch over my pussy lmao
j_cat187 20
FmL my cat ran away. By far the most amazing pet I ever owned.
poppaof6 0
So you're a cat burglar? Somehow I think you're doing it wrong.
JasonEdge 1
GET THE WATER NIGGA!!!!!!!
MissEmiily 0
lmao my best friends neighbors stole their cat and her mom marched right over there and stole it back hahahhaha
itswhateveridk 0
**** them