Today, I got caught trying to steal my own cat back from my neighbor. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found my lost cat. As I was hooking it up to a leash to get it in my car, a man approached and asked what I was doing. His kids alerted him that there was a woman stealing their cat from their front lawn. It was not my cat. FML
Today, I witnessed my psycho neighbor put her cat in a cage, cross into my backyard, and set the cage down before returning to her house. She then called the cops and claimed I'd stolen her cat. The cops didn't believe my side of the story for a second. FML
Today, I ran over my neighbors' cat. I didn't want it to look like I killed it, so I put it under my other neighbor's car so it would look like they ran over it. The cat's owners were watching me. FML
Today, my cat somehow managed to lock me out of my apartment by jumping on the doorknob while I was taking the trash out. I had to call a locksmith, and now it's like my cat won't even come near at me, like I betrayed him for allowing a stranger into our home. FML
Today, I caught and kicked a shoplifter out of my store. The shoplifter was my mom. FML
Today, my elderly neighbor called the police because my cat was in her yard. I now have a citation and a court date. Apparently, there is a leash law for cats in my town, and it is taken very seriously. FML
Today, my dog ran away. Luckily my neighbors caught him before he got too far. Now they won't give him back because they think I did something to him to make him want to run away. FML
Today, I found out that my cat, that I've had for 3 years, is actually my neighbor's missing cat. FML
Today, my "friend" came over. I caught him trying to steal my iPod on the way out. Proud of myself for catching him, I asked him to leave, only to realize that I had forgotten to actually take the iPod back from him before he left. FML
Today, my cat brought me a “gift” by dragging in a sock from my neighbor’s porch. It was a child's sock. I took it back to them, but I'm pretty sure the neighbor now thinks I steal clothes. FML
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Top comments
Nikki_ASW 0
If it's your cat how is it stealing?
Jvr91 8
Shit got real
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Comments (149)
J_Shorty_17 6
microchip your cat next time :) or have a collar and id tag, maybe no one would think it's homeless.FYL
birds_fml 7
If you didn't let your cat wander all over the damn neighborhood, maybe your neighbors wouldn't have taken in that poor stray that keeps coming to their door and crying.
Nekro_kat 1
Ass hole.
hillary6 15
Did you get your pussy back?
sparxva 12
If it was your cat then it wasn't stealing. But if you entered your neighbor's house then it was probably trespassing.
pfx2_fml 15
You shoulda went in guns blazing
pfx2_fml 15
You shoulda went in guns blazing
jerico616 14
Cats suck and they just aren't worth it!
Calyx_fml 22
YDI. Cats don't belong to anyone, no matter how much you paid for them. They choose to stay with you until they choose to stay with someone else. They aren't loyal like dogs.
dewlover33 3
Sounds like spongebob.
plopyer10 8
Snurf