Today, I got caught trying to steal my own cat back from my neighbor. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found my lost cat. As I was hooking it up to a leash to get it in my car, a man approached and asked what I was doing. His kids alerted him that there was a woman stealing their cat from their front lawn. It was not my cat. FML
Today, I witnessed my psycho neighbor put her cat in a cage, cross into my backyard, and set the cage down before returning to her house. She then called the cops and claimed I'd stolen her cat. The cops didn't believe my side of the story for a second. FML
Today, I ran over my neighbors' cat. I didn't want it to look like I killed it, so I put it under my other neighbor's car so it would look like they ran over it. The cat's owners were watching me. FML
Today, my cat somehow managed to lock me out of my apartment by jumping on the doorknob while I was taking the trash out. I had to call a locksmith, and now it's like my cat won't even come near at me, like I betrayed him for allowing a stranger into our home. FML
Today, I caught and kicked a shoplifter out of my store. The shoplifter was my mom. FML
Today, my elderly neighbor called the police because my cat was in her yard. I now have a citation and a court date. Apparently, there is a leash law for cats in my town, and it is taken very seriously. FML
Today, my dog ran away. Luckily my neighbors caught him before he got too far. Now they won't give him back because they think I did something to him to make him want to run away. FML
Today, I found out that my cat, that I've had for 3 years, is actually my neighbor's missing cat. FML
Today, my "friend" came over. I caught him trying to steal my iPod on the way out. Proud of myself for catching him, I asked him to leave, only to realize that I had forgotten to actually take the iPod back from him before he left. FML
Today, my cat brought me a “gift” by dragging in a sock from my neighbor’s porch. It was a child's sock. I took it back to them, but I'm pretty sure the neighbor now thinks I steal clothes. FML
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Top comments
Nikki_ASW 0
If it's your cat how is it stealing?
Jvr91 8
Shit got real
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Comments (149)
ariannaimelda 7
Everybody wants that pussy...cat ;)
cowsgomooatyou 8
Oh god... Your photo cracks me up :')
bizarre_ftw 22
It may crack you up but I've seen it before and the other night it popped up in my dream to my great disappointment
loveexgirl 15
Well good! It was your cat!
Blueglasscup 18
I'm sorry but I laughed so hard at this fml.
gan4sula 2
Do it like nothing happened
summerhot_fml 2
way to not use your ninja skills! ugh way to go!
Mipz 2
Ninja cat is stalking you. Oh, sorry, I mean "being stolen from you"
LegalyWhite 7
Well at least you cared to get it back :D
kings1fan 6
Celtics suck!
DCFan 9
Kings suck
BOOSCAREDU 0
Bird poo sucks! ...sorry I felt left out.
bizarre_ftw 22
Holy hell I love your pic!!! That's one of my favorite DMPs!!!
Majstr 23
You should scream at them for trying to steal your cat at the first place.
DavLynn 4
what can the neighbor say?? just demand you to give them back your cat?
1958x 6
Why does your neighbor have your cat? I think there's more to this story.
andy_l 14
What a cat-astrophe!