Today, I had a dream where I was having the best sex of my life. With Donald Trump. My boyfriend hasn't stopped laughing. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it's been so long since my fiancé and I have had sex I now apparently have dreams about all-night unprotected screwing marathons with George Bush. FML
Today, I woke up from the most sensual dream I've had in months. Unfortunately, despite it being better than any action I've had in a long time, the dream was about me fucking a donut. FML
Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML
Today, after more than a year of being single, I finally had sex. Unfortunately, it was only in a dream, and after we finished, he told me that I'm terrible in bed. Even my dream-lover is a dick. FML
Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML
Today, I had a wonderful dream where I got married to the perfect guy, then had the best sex of my life on a beautiful honeymoon. The only problem is that my "husband" was the snowman from Frozen, and that I got sad when I realized it was just a dream. FML
Today, I was finally having sex with the man of my dreams, and then he fell asleep on top of me. FML
Today, I told my coworker who I have been crushing on for a while, that I really enjoyed our time last night. I immediately realized that the time we spent last night was in my sex dream. FML
Today, I woke up from a sexy dream about my boyfriend. Too bad I'd fallen asleep in my living room with my whole family over, grandma included. They were all staring. I'd been sleep humping and moaning. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML
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Top comments
Dave_Davington 34
Did he give you the small pleasure of a million orgasms?
Fairyjoshy 13
Sorry, I have to side with your boyfriend here. That's pretty damn funny. But I also understand how it could be mortifying. Don't take it too seriously. Dreams are different from being drunk. Being drunk makes you really honest. Dreams on the other hand have no concern for honesty or lies, they're just random thoughts crashing together and your brain interpreting them in funny ways. Sometimes there's a pattern, and sometimes that pattern is just "You happened to see Donald Trump's picture for all of 0.1 seconds and had a little action with your boyfriend the day before."
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Comments (107)
itchmcrotch 13
I have a Chrome Extension which replaces "Donald Trump" with "He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named". I was very confused with this FML for a second.
SouL_WraitH 12
a comment better than the fml. i salute thee.
Brandon1000 10
Did he make your ****** great again?
SugarRush905 15
lololol
chisty87 16
Why would you call it a dream sounds more like a nightmare.
pixierara 28
I think I just vomited
Wideout40 21
**** Trump and his stupid hair... oh wait you already did.
lala150 24
I had a dream where I was eating rotten fruit and could actually taste it. I would rather have that dream for the rest of my life than dream about great sex with that loser, lol. I'm so sorry your soul had to experience that :(
Mathalamus 25
what the shit. this is just weird.
CoupeDeAce 6
This Trumps any of my wet dreams.
mswim 27
At least your boyfriend didn't break up with you over something like that. But seriously, wtf.
vikky538 29
What did he do. Built wall around your ******?
gracehi 33
And made Mexico pay for it.