Today, I woke up from a sexy dream about my boyfriend. Too bad I'd fallen asleep in my living room with my whole family over, grandma included. They were all staring. I'd been sleep humping and moaning. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML
Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML
Today, I had a sexy dream, woke up and started to masturbate quite vigorously. When I finished, I hopped off the top bunk naked to see my brother and his girlfriend laying in the bottom bunk. FML
Today, while napping on the couch, I had a very vivid dream about a girl I like. I woke up to my mother and father choking back laughter and recording me on their phones. I don't know what's worse: waking up with a boner in front of my parents or finding out I was also talking dirty in my sleep. FML
Today, I had a sexual dream about my ex, and I woke up after saying his name. My boyfriend was awake, and heard all the dirty talk and me moaning my ex-boyfriend's name. FML
Today, I was having a wet dream and had a pretty vivid imagination. I ended up thrusting so hard that it showed up in reality. I literally humped so hard that I woke myself up. Not only that, but I was sleeping on the living room floor so my roommates saw and now it's their joke of the day. FML
Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML
Today, I went to a party and crashed on the bedroom floor. I woke up to sex noises coming from the bed. I pretended to still be asleep. I sent a text to my boyfriend to tell him about it. I heard his phone beep from over in the bed. FML
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Top comments
yankfan89 27
Must have been one hell of a dream to be sleep humping.
SkoomaKi 28
Were you drooling too?
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Comments (117)
SkoomaKi 28
Were you drooling too?
SkoomaKi 28
To explain the moaning and humping OP, you could say to your family that you were in an action dream getting tortured by the enemies. As for the humping... say you were shot a lot. It could work. (Anything said by SkoomaKi is normally complete bullshit and will probably not help).
reddudeover 2
10 - Did you just thread jack yourself? :)
SkoomaKi 28
In a way yes, but in a different way, no. It was supposed to be my edit for my first comment, but I didn't do it in time :o
reddudeover 2
35 - They were both good, so may the FML gods smile upon you.
thatsucks42 4
This is the best comment I've seen in a year. Plus the edit-turned-thread-jacking.
shift_love 13
How ******* epic
BeachBoi_Alex 7
meh, at least now they're less likely to be shocked when they catch you and your boyfriend.
MisterDoctor 12
No, she couldn't have been drooling, because I'm sure at one point in the dream she had to swallow.
DalPozzo13 10
Akward.
putloginhere 6
Exactly what i was thinking... But awkward*
wlddog 14
Not awkward... Hilarious. Shoot, I wish I could have seen it.
TheMysticSilas 0
damn.. her bf's a lucky fella;)
ChelsiiBabee 5
Your spelling is awkward.
xxmexx21 0
grammer natzey
yankfan89 27
Must have been one hell of a dream to be sleep humping.
crazycatlady5 6
That's what my mum said about this dream I had once about one of my cats.
IAmNotAnAnimal 9
Boy, you must be some really crazy cat lady if you have dreams about them.
Bekll 31
It's normal to dream about your own pets.
kelissa_fml 16
But not to be humping them! Er at least I don't THINK it's normal....
Inheritance 10
I've experienced that just like OP. But I'm curious to if she had some mouth motion also, then that would be extremely awkward.
ManInTheMachine 20
Damn OP! Must've been one hell of a wet dream. After your parents and grandparents get over the inital shock of your actions and the awkward talk that'll ensue, how bouts calling your boyfriend for some real sexy time ;)
NakedPixels 15
Creepy.
Tali147 16
I bet your grandmother thinks twice before coming over next time.
ManInTheMachine 20
Unless she's the kind of grandmother that "was out every night having sex with anything that breathed."
Tali147 16
Exactly what I was thinking! So weird that those two FMLs came so close by each other.
SnaKiZe 3
Best grandma, ever then! hahah!
cactusdesu 15
That sentence is damn near the top of my "nastiest grammar I've ever seen" list.
comeatmebroo6254 1
And your family decided to continue watching rather than wake you up? Well, at least they are thoughtful.
IdfkMyUsernamexC 5
They didn't want to interrupt the show. :P
auzz1_pride 9
What if OP sleepwalks? She could have raped whoever tried waking her up :o
Meowingtons500 18
Tell them you dreamt you were a dog. Oh wait that's worse.
aleeshttylXD 9
doggystyle!
Trisha_aus 15
Or a cat, Professor Meowington
uumlaut_strohson 3
doesn't matter had sex???
therealslim 15
:S
therealslim 15
In my defence for the completely shit comment above, some moron commented 'doesn't matter had sex' and then deleted it, so my initial reply posted here accidentally. And to avoid sounding like a total dick I had to edit it to ':S' in the last second. I would like to apologise for that burden on the commenting community.
alphabetsoup96 0
Tell them you were riding a horse...if u know what I mean ;)
sayhey22 19
You don't hump the horse when you ride, so basically if OP was dumb enough to say that, it would only make things more awkward
Isoldael 27
You do, however, make sort of a rocking motion with your pelvis when riding a horse, so I can see where IC (original commenter) was coming from. That still wouldn't explain the moaning though...
Isoldael 27
OC* evil tiny keys on my phone...
ICastillo 25
Just tell them OP don't judge me got damn it everybody does it, and walk out like nothing happened.
drdraaman 0
Except.... Something DID happen....