Today, I had a dream where I was having the best sex of my life. With Donald Trump. My boyfriend hasn't stopped laughing. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it's been so long since my fiancé and I have had sex I now apparently have dreams about all-night unprotected screwing marathons with George Bush. FML
Today, I woke up from the most sensual dream I've had in months. Unfortunately, despite it being better than any action I've had in a long time, the dream was about me fucking a donut. FML
Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML
Today, after more than a year of being single, I finally had sex. Unfortunately, it was only in a dream, and after we finished, he told me that I'm terrible in bed. Even my dream-lover is a dick. FML
Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML
Today, I had a wonderful dream where I got married to the perfect guy, then had the best sex of my life on a beautiful honeymoon. The only problem is that my "husband" was the snowman from Frozen, and that I got sad when I realized it was just a dream. FML
Today, I was finally having sex with the man of my dreams, and then he fell asleep on top of me. FML
Today, I told my coworker who I have been crushing on for a while, that I really enjoyed our time last night. I immediately realized that the time we spent last night was in my sex dream. FML
Today, I woke up from a sexy dream about my boyfriend. Too bad I'd fallen asleep in my living room with my whole family over, grandma included. They were all staring. I'd been sleep humping and moaning. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML
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Top comments
Dave_Davington 34
Did he give you the small pleasure of a million orgasms?
Fairyjoshy 13
Sorry, I have to side with your boyfriend here. That's pretty damn funny. But I also understand how it could be mortifying. Don't take it too seriously. Dreams are different from being drunk. Being drunk makes you really honest. Dreams on the other hand have no concern for honesty or lies, they're just random thoughts crashing together and your brain interpreting them in funny ways. Sometimes there's a pattern, and sometimes that pattern is just "You happened to see Donald Trump's picture for all of 0.1 seconds and had a little action with your boyfriend the day before."
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Comments (107)
thecoolbean 12
Lol
TheNewGuy03 29
...so, I'm guessing The Donald told you to combover to his place in your dream? This might be my favorite FML here.
spooderman2 3
Come over*
TheNewGuy03 29
90, that thing buzzing over your head? It was a joke.
grabyourhooks 12
Your boy friend should be better in the sack if you dream of that
swharley 19
Sounds like you enjoyed your visit to Trump's Tower, he hopes you'll "come" again. ;)
corky1992 33
That's something I probably wouldn't have told my boyfriend about to save myself the embarrassment lol.
PickleOfLife 4
So it turns out that a big trump is your ace in the hole?
pasupathymuthu 16
Actually, your dream is pretty accurate. In fact, Marla Maples, one of Trump's ex-wives has publicly admitted that she had the best sex of her life with Trump. Former Penthouse model Sandra Taylor, who briefly dated Trump also admitted that Trump was great in bed. And remember, these ladies are not the girl next door types...they are all 10s. They must have seen it all in the dating and sex department. So this is for those guys making fun of trump here.
the_real_dvd 21
You know, just because a woman is remarkably attractive, it doesn't mean they've "seen it all in the dating and sex department".
Fmelikeuhateme 24
#20 True, but they could have :p
Fairyjoshy 13
@19 There's this thing people do - it's called "lying to score favor with someone." And furthermore, wow. They're super attractive so they MUST get around? For once, it's 100% accurate to call you a misogynistic asshole :)
ShirtlessWonder 17
How the **** is that misogynistic? It's not like he said it was because they're girls, and I'm pretty sure he would think exactly the same of an attractive man.
lillemy 14
i think that's more a nightmare than a dream.
pedinhuh 23
What the **** indeed O.o
AnimentalKayla 15
Did he give you a small loan of a million dollars afterwards?
brandongreen1243 10
Tbh a loan like that is small in real estate and he paid it all back with interest within two years. everyone hating on trump needs to read crippled America. He's not as crazy as everyone thinks