Today, my mom and dad played rock, paper, scissors over who gets to spend the night with me in the hospital tonight while I have surgery. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to go to the hospital. While I was there, my mom started hitting on a doctor. Later I saw them making out in the room next to me. FML
Today, my parents had a loud argument over who is worse in bed. FML
Today, I'm on bed rest after a major surgery. I can walk to the bathroom but can barely raise my hands. At the hospital, my mom gave this dramatic speech of being there whenever I needed her. When I asked her to come make me breakfast, she didn’t show up til noon then complained I was in a bad mood. FML
Today, I had surgery on my arm. My mom has recently had the same surgery, and my dad is having his first rib removed and won't be able to move his arm. My family combined now has three functioning arms. FML
Today, I woke up to my mother telling me to sit up and get dressed because we had to go before it was too late. I had just woken up from surgery. She didn't want to be stuck in traffic. FML
Today, I'm going to visit my mother in hospital. She broke her hip and my father refused to take her to hospital for 6 days, insisting she would get better. My dog had cancer surgery, which will cost me a whole month's salary. I’m still recovering from 2 major surgeries myself, and my kids are being total dorks. FML
Today, I found out my mom has been telling my entire family I need surgery on my "Labia" instead of my "Labrum". I went from needing shoulder surgery to needing vagina surgery with one group text. Thanks, mom. FML
Today, I talked to my mom about hanging out with her. She got out her phone to schedule an appointment. FML
Today, my boyfriend's bitch of a mother had surgery and now I'm expected to be her at-home nurse. I haven't been able to sit down for more than 5 minutes thanks to her and I've barely slept. FML
Today, I had 3 teeth pulled. Due to the anaesthesia, my mom came along to drive me home. Halfway through my surgery, she decided to leave and go shopping with her friend. She even left a note with the receptionist, saying that I needed to take on my own adult responsibilities. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Loser has to stay or winner gets to stay? Big difference.
vikky538 29
parents these days... sorrt OP.. hope the surgery goes well..
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Comments (98)
vikky538 29
parents these days... sorrt OP.. hope the surgery goes well..
badluckross 21
It's the most easy and fair way to do it! I think the op is more upset at the fact both parents wanted to leave than at the fact they decided to Rock Paper Scissors over it.
False_Stupidity 42
Maybe both wanted to stay but only one could. Maybe OP misread this entirely. Then again, maybe not.
Crofty92 17
If we never get a follow up lets assume OP didn't make it.
pwnman 33
37 is correct. Only one can stay, I broke my arm and my mom had to stay and there wasn't my dad or anyone else allowed
awkwardology 23
Beat them both at rock, paper, scissors and get the upper hand!
JellyBalls 18
What if they tie?
Maddiiee3011 13
#7 Have you ever actually played the game? Most of the time it's the kind of game you have to have multiple rounds of because you tie
cryssycakesx3 23
use fire!
LifeAlertTwerk 14
Unless OP is having surgery on their hand. Then that might not be a good idea.
buckdharma 38
7- That's why Sheldon insists on rock, paper, scissors, lizard, Spock.
SrgntSprnkls77 15
They should've ro sham bo'd for it
gogators941 11
Ouch... Well hope everything went ok!
domking1315 20
Always go rock in that game. Most people dont do paper first
juturnaamo 29
I heard scissors are least common, men are more likely to throw rock first, women are more likely to throw paper first.
nightowl713 25
Wow, they should be ashamed. I'm sorry OP!! Happy thoughts for a quick and healthy recovery!
DocBastard 40
Loser has to stay or winner gets to stay? Big difference.
Arwen_Evenstar 37
Agreed. With her being old enough to be coming on FML there's a good chance she's at least a teenager though, so I'm surprised either parent is allowed. Usually here that's only for major things. Which this could be, but then I think they'd not be posting on FML so quickly...
football98_fml 20
Seeing that its on FML, I'm pretty sure the loser had to stay
njgohard 16
Given that this is FML, most likely the loser. EDIT: Sneaky bastard beat me to it. Good show.
sterling1113 15
#23- considering it's surgery, and OP is staying over night(for at least one night) I think it's fair to assume it's somewhat major. And I'm turning 20 this month and my boyfriend stayed with me in the hospital when I was there for a few days. So age doesn't have much to do with having visitors/overnight stays. Plus, considering FML requires you start with 'today' it is very likely this happened a bit ago and OP is putting it in the present- tense to fit FML's guidelines.
DocBastard 40
I'm so glad that two teenagers with 200 comments between them were kind enough to explain to me how FML works. Thank goodness.
DropTheDaggerxx 31
Yikes, #46. They have 200 comments between the two of them, which suggests they might not be regulars and were just supplying information. They didn't say anything condescending. No need to get snarky.
DocBastard 40
Me snarky? Never.
DropTheDaggerxx 31
Touché!
thatchick1405 17
the way parents show love these days...
DocBastard 40
You mean like buying expensive iPhones and iPads and Xbox and PS4... Yeah. You kids sure have it rough.
Welshite 40
Now, Doc, you know that's not true. Some people require affection in different forms. I know that a heartfelt hug means more to me than the newest trendy gadget.
kingdomgirl94 29
Hey now, the only thing my dad has done to help me through school is babysit guinea pigs while I work. Some people get everything from mommy and daddy, others don't. If they don't want to keep OP company at the very least, its certainly not very loving.
RedPillSucks 33
Speaking of expensive love, how's that tesla?
ihaveasushicat 24
Well I hope either way you have a good recovery! But that's rude of your parents!
JJ_86 22
That's bad. Hope they did it in a lighter sense. And good luck for the surgery and have a fast recovery.
mclovin22897 15
your parents are insensitive, fyl.