Today, my boyfriend insisted that we try phone sex. He started telling me all the things he wanted to do to me while breathing heavily. Unfortunately, it sounded so ridiculous, I burst out laughing. He hung up on me, and has refused to pick up since. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. FML
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said, "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML
Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML
Today, after having some great, intimate phone sex with my boyfriend, he immediately said, "Well, gotta go," and hung up. Thanks for making me feel like some sort of phone-hooker, dude. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML
Today, after finally getting up the confidence, I started talking really dirty to my boyfriend on the phone. I was getting really onto it, and he seemed to enjoy it too. Then I stopped for a second to gauge his reaction. He was snoring. FML
Today, I had phone sex with my boyfriend. He had an asthma attack. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to have phone sex with him. However, it seems he doesn't quite know what it is, so now he wants me to explain it to him. FML
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Top comments
Epsilonyx 15
I'd assume someone with the name "Lickmylovepump" would be an extremely horny and open minded person.
ILoveMyXbox 0
Phone sex is awkward and weird in my opinion. I honestly don't blame you for laughing, because I would have to :P
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Comments (155)
gigi03 5
Wow I would of laughed too I think phone sex is dumb and ridiculous just do the real thing.
Akharr01 5
Great!
dazed_confused94 9
haha.. this same thing happened to me expect he didn't hang up, we just keep talking and he said we could try again if I wanted too xD
conman531 23
Just gotta get comfortable doing it with your lover. Me and my girlfriend tried it for the first time last night. It wasn't that great, plus we didn't finish because it was just too late.
sodapop19 5
That's is messed you should have played along to be NICE !
blink978 1
Lol loser.
JAIDENANDMATTHEW 0
Look just don' t laugh... for men sexual relationships are pride for us. Not maturity, like serioualy WTF? Ohh hes immature... no he is ******* sexually fruatrated and pissed
PandaLoverXD 12
If he really did say lick my love pump, then I don't blame you for laughing. I would've laughed too.
cuddlebunny3548 11
You could have put the phone on mute!
AnimeGrrl03 0
Pff ahahahah i think i would have done the same xD