Today, I went on a date to the zoo. I soon found out that my date had eaten several hash brownies before entering. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. Not only was he boring, he twice excused himself to go to the bathroom and both times he came back smelling of weed. FML
Today, I went on my first date in nearly a year. A few minutes into the meal, he called me "scrumptious" and made animal noises for the rest of it. FML
Today, my date took me to visit his farm. As we were walking, a wild rabbit darted past me and startled me. I tripped and fell face first into cow dung. FML
Today, I went on a date at the park. Have you ever felt dozens of ants swarming up your legs and back? I have now. FML
Today, I went on a date for the first time in ages, only to realize that the guy I was seeing chose to take us to a specific restaurant in able to stalk his ex. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy. I looked at the menu and yelled, "Who puts caramel on onions? EW!" I then learned that "caramelized onion" is not caramel covered onions. FML
Today, I went on a date. I went to the bathroom for five minutes and returned to find my date had not only left, but poured ketchup all over our food to ruin it. FML
Today, I went on a date with a fun, attractive girl. She ordered off the kid's menu, drowned her food in ketchup, and said my burger with blue cheese and bacon was disgusting. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML
Today, I took a girl on a date. Her and her imaginary friends. FML
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Top comments
eminemop 0
Nothing like special brownies and a trip to the zoo!
gaffag 2
That's a really good idea. Thank you
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Comments (131)
TehParteh 9
Maybe you should have joined him, or leave
Carriah420 9
This is NOT an FML. It disappoints me to see crap like this posted and decent FMLs are rejected.
holycoweh 2
Ohhhh shit!! That brings back memories.
brenkite 5
The water fountain dared me to do it- Otto after riding a turtle naked
dannykilljoy 4
Are you mad because he didn't share?
KiddNYC1O 22
Make sure to ride the cable car so you can both be high.
bubo_fml 11
Point to the elephant droppings & tell him it's "Space cakes" & see if he goes for them!
Haitian_Hardhead 0
Soooo???
ponyboi 0
The lions only eat meat though so all your worries are with the monkeys
Okayitwasme 0
I guess he planned on having a fun time with or without you.