Today, I went on a date to the zoo. I soon found out that my date had eaten several hash brownies before entering. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. Not only was he boring, he twice excused himself to go to the bathroom and both times he came back smelling of weed. FML
Today, I went on my first date in nearly a year. A few minutes into the meal, he called me "scrumptious" and made animal noises for the rest of it. FML
Today, my date took me to visit his farm. As we were walking, a wild rabbit darted past me and startled me. I tripped and fell face first into cow dung. FML
Today, I went on a date at the park. Have you ever felt dozens of ants swarming up your legs and back? I have now. FML
Today, I went on a date for the first time in ages, only to realize that the guy I was seeing chose to take us to a specific restaurant in able to stalk his ex. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy. I looked at the menu and yelled, "Who puts caramel on onions? EW!" I then learned that "caramelized onion" is not caramel covered onions. FML
Today, I went on a date. I went to the bathroom for five minutes and returned to find my date had not only left, but poured ketchup all over our food to ruin it. FML
Today, I went on a date with a fun, attractive girl. She ordered off the kid's menu, drowned her food in ketchup, and said my burger with blue cheese and bacon was disgusting. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML
Today, I took a girl on a date. Her and her imaginary friends. FML
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Top comments
eminemop 0
Nothing like special brownies and a trip to the zoo!
gaffag 2
That's a really good idea. Thank you
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Comments (131)
Spectre93 3
I don't see a problem here...
KeannaLove 32
Sounds like a keeper. :)
ICATiger 13
Better out than in....
SystemofaBlink41 27
Am I the only one that didn't get this?
rhysfucker 24
I think ICATiger is referencing that OP's date was honest enough to admit that they partake of the wonderful hemp weed.
puppytaco64 8
*sees monkey* JESUS, THEY HAVE BEARS
cassiebear7652 7
Double rainbow zebras
You_Need_Soap 6
*sob! What does it mean?! *sob
cassiebear7652 7
No
MistySky 17
How'd you find out?
Awsumuzzie 12
Thanks for asking, haha. I wanted to ask, but I get attacked as it is. Now we can share the thumbs downs :) I have no idea how people find out! The guy could say flat out "I was going on a date to the zoo... But then I got high, Oooh" And I still wouldn't know!
ladyLALAA 29
I would say the laughter, glazed/red eyes, generally lacking the effort to do anything that doesn't involve food. You need to try a brownie for yourself!
annagilbert 6
hell yeah! best date ever
skulskinator 5
You know it was a bad date when u went to the zoo.
2ndSucks 15
I love the zoo.. I wouldn't mind going on a date. Get in touch with your inner child, man.
AllyyK 9
Lol. Well apparently he didn't think a date to the zoo with you would be very fun. Unless he was high..
coyoteGenocide 0
learn to live a little. your date enjoyed his time there thoroughly.