Today, I went on a date to the zoo. I soon found out that my date had eaten several hash brownies before entering. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. Not only was he boring, he twice excused himself to go to the bathroom and both times he came back smelling of weed. FML
Today, I went on my first date in nearly a year. A few minutes into the meal, he called me "scrumptious" and made animal noises for the rest of it. FML
Today, my date took me to visit his farm. As we were walking, a wild rabbit darted past me and startled me. I tripped and fell face first into cow dung. FML
Today, I went on a date at the park. Have you ever felt dozens of ants swarming up your legs and back? I have now. FML
Today, I went on a date for the first time in ages, only to realize that the guy I was seeing chose to take us to a specific restaurant in able to stalk his ex. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy. I looked at the menu and yelled, "Who puts caramel on onions? EW!" I then learned that "caramelized onion" is not caramel covered onions. FML
Today, I went on a date. I went to the bathroom for five minutes and returned to find my date had not only left, but poured ketchup all over our food to ruin it. FML
Today, I went on a date with a fun, attractive girl. She ordered off the kid's menu, drowned her food in ketchup, and said my burger with blue cheese and bacon was disgusting. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML
Today, I took a girl on a date. Her and her imaginary friends. FML
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Top comments
eminemop 0
Nothing like special brownies and a trip to the zoo!
gaffag 2
That's a really good idea. Thank you
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Comments (131)
mikosquak 6
You must be dumb! Mary Jane is the best thing since sliced bread! Although I must say it's his bad for not bringing enough brownies for the both of you.
fahquad 4
Just gonna point out marijuana was around before sliced bread...
j_cat187 20
And he didn't share!?? What the **** is wrong with him!??
dreamer2012 16
This made my day :) lol
conqueror57 11
Is it only because I'm older that I know that "hash" and "weed" are significantly different? Same plant, yes, but hardly the same effect or experience!
Calyx_fml 22
Your life aux because he didn't bring Amy for you
GoW_Chick 15
Who's Amy, and why would she make this date better? Oh wait, she's the one who made the hash brownies, so she could bring more, that would be better.
docscientist 10
Have you had time to hash over why he didn't offer you some?
googlewtf 0
Nothin like moral support wait I ment oral
Hache_fml 0
First problem was a date to the zoo. Come on that's cliche. Where is the thought in that date?
AugustBurnsToast 14
I bet he felt as tall as one of the giraffes lol ^_*
hamodeabosam 0
R u ok
brianjman14 23
Yes. Thank you for asking.