Today, I went on a date to the zoo. I soon found out that my date had eaten several hash brownies before entering. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. Not only was he boring, he twice excused himself to go to the bathroom and both times he came back smelling of weed. FML
Today, I went on my first date in nearly a year. A few minutes into the meal, he called me "scrumptious" and made animal noises for the rest of it. FML
Today, my date took me to visit his farm. As we were walking, a wild rabbit darted past me and startled me. I tripped and fell face first into cow dung. FML
Today, I went on a date at the park. Have you ever felt dozens of ants swarming up your legs and back? I have now. FML
Today, I went on a date for the first time in ages, only to realize that the guy I was seeing chose to take us to a specific restaurant in able to stalk his ex. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy. I looked at the menu and yelled, "Who puts caramel on onions? EW!" I then learned that "caramelized onion" is not caramel covered onions. FML
Today, I went on a date. I went to the bathroom for five minutes and returned to find my date had not only left, but poured ketchup all over our food to ruin it. FML
Today, I went on a date with a fun, attractive girl. She ordered off the kid's menu, drowned her food in ketchup, and said my burger with blue cheese and bacon was disgusting. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML
Today, I took a girl on a date. Her and her imaginary friends. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
eminemop 0
Nothing like special brownies and a trip to the zoo!
gaffag 2
That's a really good idea. Thank you
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (131)
Ari1337 15
A date to the zoo doesn't sound very fun without them.
knight0748 5
At least he's not on LSD.
cutiepie123456 5
Damn. If I were you I'd be like.. Where'd ya get them? gimme some!
perdix 31
He'll need a cocktail of horse tranquilizers, rat poison and elephant laxatives to make it through your wedding.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Goddamn you perdix!!! Elephant laxatives?!? Did you really have to put that image in my head? If it can make an elephant empty its bowels, it'll probably make a human shit himself completely inside out.
j_cat187 20
I visioned perdix's comment like a scene from Scary Movie 2: The stoners high as a kite with his skull cracked open and Insane in the Membrane playing in the background.
sassypenguinxox 15
Yea but if he didn't know what hash brownies were he shouldn't have asked how it had to do with anything but instead find out what hash brownies are and then try to see the relevance
sassypenguinxox 15
But it more seems like he misread the fml because he thought it said hash browns and not hash brownies
joc5_fml 0
whats so roung with it?!
kittenvks 11
Heh?!
littlej0n 0
if my date ate hash brownies before going to the zoo id wife her up!
blacknail3dfr3ak 3
That's awesome
TheyCallMeDamien 18
May not be significant other material but weed supplier, yes.